Friday, April 11, 2008

The Lair of the Blue Happy Alien Bunny

Part III, by John Hulme

As the lift sped up into the dark heart of the tower,the trap door in the ceiling burst open and a couple of big blue floppy things flopped menacingly over the two intruders.

"Ha!" they cried, slapping poor Peanut and Tracy around the elevator with whiplike whacks of their long, furry bodies. "Nothing in the known Universe can defeat the strange, yet awesome agility of the sacred rabbit ears!"

"STOP!" screamed Tracy, suddenly more than a little miffed at her reception. "DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED THIS SHIT IN MY LIFE?"

Peanut stared at her, more than a little aghast.

"Oh, sure, like I don't really know you know that word," she sighed. "Give you five minutes with any group of kids and you probably know more words than I do! So what? It's not about what words you know..."

"IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU USE THEM!" boomed a big, echoing voice as the elevator doors swung open. Out beyond the elevator, the world as they had previously recognised it appeared to have vanished, leaving a far stranger Universe hanging in its place. All around them, from every conceivable angle, a wild assortment of multicoloured planets appeared to be racing each other across open space like reckless, glowing marbles. Bright stars glowered down from the misty distance, blinding Peanut and Tracy in their fierce glare.

Gradually, as the swirl of astral colours began to steady itself, and the weird ballet of astral wotsits came into focus, they could make out the squadron of bright blue fluffy asteroids rolling down through this weird miniature Cosmos towards them.

Two of these asteroids were shaped like rabbit's feet, only without the black caps this time, two like big, floppy bunny ears, two like massive eyes (the kind of eyes you might see frozen in a car's headlights, or peeking out from the bushes on a lazy country walk).

"They're not asteroids," noted Peanut, with his usual perception. "They're bunny-roids."

And as they watched, the weird assortment of flying bunny bits began to merge, stitching themselves together across the cosmic mists like some floating knitting pattern.

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