Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Phew! Lost half a kilo.

I'm wearing pants today that are too big for me (again) when I started this I couldn't get them to fasten, and I had the best camel toe you've ever seen :) Wish I'd tried them on a bit sooner, I love these pants - would have been nice to have worn them when they actually fitted nicely.

Oh, and Happy 70th Birthday Mum. She'd kill me if she knew it was on the net for the whole world to see. Tee hee.

Wish I Hadn't Done that....

I'm a silly silly girl. Couldn't help myself and got on the scales this morning. Haven't lost anything. Damn damn damn. Now I am stressing about what I have done wrong this week, what I have to do to improve next week etc etc etc. aaaargh! It's my own fault. I got carried away with myself and these days off - began to think I was invincible.

It's my mums 70th birthday tomorrow and I was going to treat us all to Chinese (she doesn't want a big fuss as my BIL is not well) - I will have to be good now though. grrrr.

Saw something interesting a few days ago while checking out nutritional values for a friend of mine. I went on http://www.food.com.au - great aussie site for seeing what you are REALLY eating. I started checking the weightwatchers items out - just to see how much "better" they were for you. Got a bit of a shock...

Bear in mind that the TF programme is VLCD (very low calorie diet) and well as low carb.

Weight Watchers Steamed Pudding, Sticky Date, frozen
per pudding (80g)
Calories - 360 cals, Kilojoules - 1504 kJ, Total Fats - 6.6 g
Sugars - 26.9 g, Carbohydrates - 73.6 g Cholesterol -
Protein - 5.8 g, Sodium - 528 mg Fibre - 2.7 g

Sara Lee Puddings, Sticky Date, frozen
per serving, 1/6 pudding (79g)
Calories - 266 cals, Kilojoules - 1,112 kJ Total Fats - 10.0 g
Sugars - 29.1 g, Carbohydrates - 40.7 g Cholesterol -
Protein - 2.3 g Sodium - 222 mg Fibre -

This gives me the irrates. Most people (like myself) would automatically assume that being "weightwatchers" it would be better for you that a "normal" pudding. But for (roughly) the same amount you are actually getting 100 extra calories and almost DOUBLE the carbs! Just goes to show that you cannot rely on marketing and branding alone.

My message - ALWAYS CHECK LABELS people. Don't be fooled into thinking it is better for you just because it is marketed towards people trying to lose weight.

Just a Little bit Naughty.....

again!

T/L came over after all and stayed so we had awesome pasta and pizza. Intention on Sunday was to go Krispy Kreme hunting as well, but I flatly refuse to queue for donuts! People have gone insane. Ok, it's the first 1 in Victoria, - BUT THEY ARE DONUTS! They are not made of gold, they are not designed by Armani and they don't feature an exclusive picture of semi-naked celebrities (mores the pity) so why spend an hour queuing up for them? Are they REALLY that nice???

Saturday I went to Salvos hunting for a bargain pair of jeans as my current ones are starting to fall down. I tried on a pair of size 14 Mossimos. I know, I know I guess I was a bit too adventurous. The good thing was that I did manage to get into them AND fasten them up. The bad thing was that I had a spare tyre that Mitchelin would have been proud to sell to 4X4 owners. Back to the drawing board. Denim is soooo unforgiving.

Back to being good as gold today. Slept in so didn't test the scales. Kinda glad :) That half packet of jaffa cakes I ate would show up and I'm not ready to face that.

Might as well face it......

I'm addicted to blog! Take last night for example. I should have been updating my website. I should have been updating my e-bay store, or creating my new online store. What was I really doing? Checked out Blog sites and Memes, trying to decide how to make my blog more interesting, how to attract traffic etc. Shame on all you blogsters out there - you're making addicts of us all!



Weighed in this morning - not bad for 4 days eh?! Might even try and be good this weekend after all. T/l sick, so may not turn up. Didn't do my usual routine either. Forgot it was weigh in day and had a shower first - so it might just have been even less (what? I'm NOT obsessing!!!)

Got wedding cake in the post today from Fi Fi, all the way over in the UK. Had a sliver for brekkie with my shake. Bit dry but suppose you can expect that what with the wedding being a month ago and it being subject to cabin pressure and postal service smelly bags and damp transit vans. Can't really be too much of a food critic all things considered. Got a mild stomach ache now - you don't think it's related do you?

Luscious!

I love that word. Rolls off the tongue just beautifully doesn't it?

I feel great. I have already beaten last weeks visits to the gym, so I can successfully mark that as an improvement.

Will probably be naughty again this weekend, as expecting T/L over. Hence my decision to change my weigh days to Friday. (almost as big a decision as marriage! - hmmmm) That way the 4 days I have been good will not be in vain. Then if I have been bad I have 5 whole days to work my sorry butt off so that it doesn't show in the scales. Jeez I'm so clever I amaze myself! (yeah I know I'm sarcastic)

Oh, and C has taken a liking to all my sugar free lollies, especially my Ricci Lite and Lucious Fabulous Fruits - is there nothing sacred? Grrrrr.

Gonna start posting up links to other blogs I have come across on my way, and stuff I find cool, funny or just down right sad and pathetic.... that way this might be worth reading once in a while.

Weakness? What weakness?

Well well well. Defo back on track. That week off had really shaken my willpower - was very tempted to bend the rules again at the weekend. Lots of emotional stress didn't help, but luckily my fear of non-ketosis is even strong than the carb demons.

I am thinking however of changing my weigh in day from Monday to Friday. That way if for some reason I do succumb to evil then I have a good 5-6 days to work it off again. Hmmmm decision decisions.

My boy is still helping me keep on track too - though I wish he would stop telling all the customers in the supermarket what I can and can't have because of my diet! It seems to make them look at me differently - as a fat person rather than just a stranger at the checkout. Suppose it's like when someone comments on the size of your nose - everyone else has ackowledged it but not focussed on it until it's been made public.

We Shall Overcome!

Continued from yesterday......
Monday morning came. It was a bank holiday so I'd slept in (well as much as a 6 yr old will let me anyway) hit the scales. put on 1.2 kg. Destraught, Mortified. Ashamed. Only had myself to blame.

Back on the straight and narrow. Being a good girl again. Had a yummy tea of pork loin with apple "sauce" made from my fruit allowance and fake sugar. Was yummo!

Tuesday morning I'm back at work after a week off. Decided to check the scales just to make sure I was now going back in the right direction..
Are my scales broken or something? Switched the light on and checked again. Yup that's right. It says I am back down to 74.4. How the F**k can I lose 1.2 kilo in 1 day! Am I complaining? Hell no!

I checked again this morning - just to make absolutely sure... down to 74 even - so I am heading in the right direction.

I'm glad my body has let me off lightly for my week of sin and debauchery, and it's also made me feel a lot less guilty for my cheats. hey I'm human, sometimes I gotta allow myself to indulge. Obviously not to the extreme I did last week (I'd like to be able to hold my head a bit higher thank you!) but at least I don't have to feel contantly deprived. Makes this whole battle a little easier to bear.

Roll on official weight day Monday! Show me whatchya got!

The Demon wins - but not for Long.....

I have been neglecting my blog. Mostly because I have been back to my old habits and was too ashamed to face the harsh reality.
I was supposed to have a day off - it turned in to a week - well maybe more like 9 days!!!!!
Had friends stay over Saturday night. Put dips out for everyone and although I was very good at dinner and resisted the potatos and the nibblies I put out, I did succumb to the dips and a bit of cheese. The Gin didn't help either, although again I didn't go overboard.
The Sunday was also a bit naughty... but nice :) Mostly little things like bacon and eggs for brekkie as well as steak and veggies for lunch - not huge crimes but still misdemeanors.
It was a pretty slow decent via Monday and Tuesday - bit of Mars Bar slice here, a KFC twister there... hmmmm!
It was Wednesday when it really hit the fan. T/l over and I had promised him a diet free day - and BOY was I gonna make the most of it. Porridge for brekkie with heaps of golden syrup. We went Italian for lunch - pasta and pizza - I was in heaven!
After that it's all a blur - half a box of pringles, followed by the rest of the dip (I had veggies with it I tells ya!) more porridge, potato cakes, peanut butter on toast, hot cross bun (I had them in the freezer cause I was DAMNED if I was gonna miss out completely this year!), more porridge, Bacon Double Cheese Burgers, Onion Rings, Spaghetti Bolognese (with extra parmesan), more porridge whoah there!
By Saturday T/L was back again, so another round of pizza and pasta (this time take away - with pasta servings meant for 2 people) more mars bar slice & porridge....
Of course why stop there - why not have the leftovers on Sunday - followed by the rest of the pringles, followed by half a box of mini snickers bars, followed by rest of the cheese and crackers.
By Sunday evening I was feeling thoroughly and totally ashamed of myself.
to be continued.........

10k gone!

Wow! I'm halfway there! Was the news I really needed to stay on track.

I did endulge slightly on Monday, but not as bad as I could have been. We had BBQ chicken for lunch and I stole one or 4 of T/ls chips (yummy) and had some coleslaw. Then about 4pm when he left I had a handful of Doritos (double yummy), then decided that if I was gonna mess around like this I might as well make sure I knocked myself out of Ketosis. I knew I still had 3/4 tin of that yummy cream in the fridge, and I went to the supermarket and bought a couple of individual apple pies (Triple yummy). Warmed them up and me and C sat there and had our dessert watching Big Brother. C. asks me if that means I'm gonna be fat again. Jeez if anything gonna put you back on that wagon then my son will. Thinking of hiring him out as a personal life coach :)

So next day I was back on track, and have been good ever since. I hit the treadmill twice this week, even did a bit of running (anything to defrost my toes - office is freezing) and I did the gardening at the weekend - shifting 2 cubic metres of soil, 1 bucket at a time!

My assumption is that my body hit starvation mode which slowed my weight loss, and the day off was the kick start it needed. I'm going to ensure I have a regular day off to treat myself and keep me motivated and my metabolism ticking over.

Oh, and I bought my first pair of size 14 pants last week. Haven't been that size in 11 years! Awesome feeling.

Temptation

Another 0.9 gone. My body is making me work for it. Getting very tempting now. Indulged in 1 bbq pringle, and licked the flavour off one of C's Doritos. Also treated myself to a bit of reduced fat cream in my chicken and mushroom supreme. Low carbs and I only had a little bit - but felt REALLY naughty.
Biggest dilemma now. T/l taking me for lunch today. Been reading on TF website that a few people have conciously had a carb meal once every so often so they don't feel deprived. Think that might be a good idea. Figured if I had it today that gives me a whole week before weigh in to get it off again. Will knock me out of ketosis, but then I'll get straight back into it, and it might just be the jolt that my body needs. Then again - this might just be an excuse for me to slack off. Once I jump off the wagon will it be hard to get back on? If I didn't lose next week because of my lack of willpower I will be very disappointed. Decisions Decisions!

Where did that Hill come from?

It's getting harder. I'm bored of food. Copied a heap of recipes from TF website in hope of trying to reclaim by tastebuds. It's true I do not have much imagination (or skill) when it comes to cooking. Any fab tasting (don't lie to me) low carb low fat recipes please let me know. (who am I kidding - no-one reads this anyway!)

Hit the treadmill twice this week so far but think I am having a day off today. Food shopping instead. Nothing much planned for the weekend, so looks like another hard one trying to fend off the munchies and the sofa sores.

Mens Pants

Why am I not happy with the result? I have lost haven't I? I'm going in the right direction. I should feel pleased with myself. I'm losing my will power to avoid temptation..... the light at the end of the tunnel still seems so far away.

trying to find reasons why my losses aren't as great anymore. Is it because I'm exercising and putting on muscle? Is it because I'm not exercising enough? Is it because I missed a couple of shakes this week because I simply wasn't hungry? Am I doing something wrong?

Ah! well whatever it is - mustn't give up. If only for the bitchy reason that my "friend" is on this plan too and I want to be more successful that her and show her how it's REALLy done. She's still having leaded coffee, and she's eating her fruit everyday which I'm not, and she still says she is hungry. She is a very competitive person, and she's always trying to put me down. It would be nice to be on a higher plane for a change.

I know that sounds nasty - that's why I put it on here - no-one will see it. Have to vent sometimes tho don't ya!

Been craving really weird things. Most people crave choccie or bread or chips. Too normal for me. I'm craving porridge and meat pies. and I'd kill for a bit of Yorkshire Pudding and sage and onion stuffing with my roast. grrrr.

The loss is showing on my clothes though. T/L couldn't get over how good I look. Said my suit looks like mens pants that are too baggy for me. They used to be tight. Wish I could afford to buy ones that fit. Any donations gratefully received... that's donations of ladies suit trousers, not mens pants :)

It's Official - I'm not LARGE anymore :)

Went to the factory outlets today to buy this top I wanted. Automatically look for "large" Lo and behold.... not a single one in site (they always go first leaving you with thousands of XXS to look through dismally - when are the retail shops gonna realise that the larger woman grossly outnumbers the skinny ones!)

There was a Medium in the colour I wanted. It's on sale. Hmmmmm I wonder..... Head to the changing room and lo and behold.... perfect fit! Whoo Hoo!!!!! I can officially call myself a medium :) :) :)

Next I have to pluck up courage to try my bottom half (which has always been bigger) My suit pants are hanging off me now... but I am reluctant to try the next size down in case they don't fit and I make myself miserable with self pity. Maybe next week.....

I must have a huge bladder!

Lazing in bed, trying to work out how many more seconds I can spare before being officially "late" for work, when I remembered it was weigh in day. Hoped on the scales - same as last week. shock horror!

Hang on a minute - I've changed the routine. Loo first, then weigh in. Back on scales. Lost 0.7kg. My bladder holds over 1/2 kilo of wee!!!!!!! I never thought I would be so happy about that revelation :)

I was a leetle bit naughty over the weekend I guess. What with the crappy chinese on Saturday night and the peppercorn sauce on my steak yesterday, and nibbling at my sisters caesar salad (with parmesan shavings). Hmmm.

Guess that I should take it as a sign - gotta get stuck into the exercise properly.

Hey - a loss is a loss is a loss. I'm happy!

Happy Birthday To Me!

I always get really really excited about birthdays. I'm 31 now but for some reason still expect them to be like when I was 6! Have to remind myself they are not supposed to be exciting anymore. It's just another day in paradise.

Mum spoiled my yesterday. She took me shopping for some sexy brown boots, and I ended up also getting a gorgeous blue knitted top from Portmans, and a mixer :)

Last night TL came over, he was later than expected and hadn't text me to tell me he was on his way, so I was stressing as usual when he got here, and I spoiled it by blubbering again. All week he's been promising me he'd spoil me, then he turns up with only $20 to buy takeout and falls asleep watching the footy. I am truly blessed!

He was really sweet though and I'm not really complaining, just thought it was funny. Despite being absolutely exhausted he did manage to hang around until after 12 so he could officially say Happy Birthday to me in person. He's already rang me this morning, says he feels like he's been headbutted by a bus. I've probably given him my illness. See... Birthdays are for giving as well as receiving.

The chinese we had last night was a big disappointment. I treated myself with crispy duck and got beef and mushroom to balance it. The beef had far too much ginger in it for my liking and the duck does not taste the same without the plum sauce. :( I went on the treadmill this morning for an hour and did about 5ks to try and balance out anything I had bad last night and anything I may have today which I shouldn't. Hope it's enough cause it's weigh in tomorrow! Gave myself blisters so now I can't wear my new boots. grrrr!

Let them eat cake...

It's my birthday on Sunday. Just brought cakes in for everyone - of course I can't have them. They looked soooooooooooooooooo yummy! The muffins were warm and moist, succulent berrys and gooey choc chips exposed for all to see. Rich and dense hedgehog and coconut slice. What have I got to look forward to? A banana shake! Whoo hoo!. I must be a masochist - why else would I torture myself with a plate full of decadent evil only inches from my nose.

I went to the docs last night - had to go for the dreaded intrusion (pap) and had a list of few other minor complaints. Thought I might as well get my monies worth. Back fired though. Happy Birthday... here's some anti-biotics. grrr. Good job I wasn't intending on drinking anyway!

Did decide to treat myself from spit roast lamb from the fish and chip shop next door to the chemist. It is divine!!!!!!!! Having it today for lunch with some slow roast veggies I did last night. Really looking forward to that. Who needs cake eh?

Phew!

A huge thank you to Lil Miss Piggy for helping me change my colours. I lurve it! She has been sooo nice and helpful and I have been a complete pain cause I don't know much about HTML. doh!

Actually felt hungry before lunch today. First time since I started the diet! Had an apple and headed to the gym. I had promised myself a regular trip to the gym, and failed yesterday so didn't want to make 2 excuses in a row.

Had a tiff with TL. Misunderstanding and we sorted it out. Think this is my first REAL adult relationship. Previously I would just sulk and pout. Talking about it and resolving it is much more rewarding! :)

He's taking me out for my birthday on Saturday and already stressing about what I am going to eat at the restaurant. Why does everyone else worry about it? I don't!

Having an early night tonight. C woke up in the night, and spent 2 restless hours in my bed, before telling me he couldn't sleep on an empty stomach. Sent him to his own bed with some tiny teddies!

I love this programme. No real effort and great results! Didn't think I would have lost anything this week. Keep waiting for the plateau.... but I hope it never happens!

Had the dreaded monthlys last week, had a sore throat and cold (can't call it flu as I have had the jab) and dosed myself up to the eyeballs with "drugs" (mostly herbal) which resulted in severe "blockage"....

Dreaded the scales this morning - felt like I swallowed a brick - thought it was bound to show. I had to switch the light on as I didn't believe my eyes. Then I got off the scales and had another go just to make sure! whoo hoo hoooooo!

Couldn't wait to tell anyone who is interested. Luckily my TL rings at 7am so he gets the good news first. He's very dubious about this diet as "I don't eat much" (he's from Italian background.... therefore if you don't eat 6 bowls of pasta a day you are not eating properly)

There's only one thing that annoys me. That is that people think they have to tip toe around me because I'm "on a diet" - i.e they can't invite me out for meals or have to cook something that I can eat. I don't want to feel like I'm being a nuisance, or spoiling their fun, or that I'm missing out on something. That's their view not mine. My mum wanted to take me for lunch on my birthday next week, but mentioned we would have to pick carefully where we go. Had to explain that it doesn't matter where we go - the point is I can work my diet into anywhere I go. Even Pizza restaurants do salad or steaks - it's not that difficult. Why don't other people see that?

I've finally worked out how to post up the links. Please let me know if any don't work properly. I'll work this stuff out eventually.... but one step at a time eh???

In The Beginning.......

Always been interested in this sorta stuff but never thought I would have anything particularly interesting to say. I remember my diary when I was at school.... "Got up, went to school, double English yuck! went home. Had tea. Watched TV. Went to Bed.

Jeez, makes me yawn just thinking about it!

Still, I've joined the Tony Ferguson Weight Loss Program, and got me some great "virtual friends" and they've given me the inspiration to try this. Gonna do it mostly for my benefit - they say writing it down clears the mind and soul and makes you feel better. Here I am to put the theory to the test. If I can interest and inspire people on the way so much the better.

Story so far... single mother, living with gorgeous 6 year old son, C. Have mum close by helping me incessantly. Don't know what I would do without her. Work full time doing Insurance (yawn) and Transport (more yawn) for an air con co. Also trying to run a jewellery business. Making and selling my own creations and doing a few jewellery classes here and there. So that's me in a nutshell.

Comments and feedback appreciated ;)