Kindness Awards 2007

I just want to acknowledge the people who have stood out to me this year as being wonderful and/or kind people.... which in this day and age seems to be a rare commodity, and something which should be recognised much more often.

• The Assistant Manager at Aldi in Hampton Park who gave me a refund on my broken microwave when I did not have the receipt.
• LifeSinger... who's "twitterings" make me smile.
• My mate Katie - who cheers me up when I'm down and always has an unbelievable story to tell!
• My mum... my rock.
• My puppy Charli - always ready for hugs and hassles me to take him for walks, without which I would be sat on my fat ass all day!
• The guy that helped me catch Charli when he ran off and wouldn't come back.
• Natalie and the guys from Brighton Toyota, who are always willing to help out, lend me cars, give me footy tickets and sent me off to the Tramcar Restaurant when my dad was here from UK.
• My next door neighbour who gave me all her pebbles for my garden, and occasionally mows the front nature strip for me.
• Kristy and the guys from Bartercard Bayside&Geelong - for helping me sell my stuff.
• My boy... of course!

The Man was Dan from Kazakstan

There was a fat turkey named Sam,

Who gobbled whenever he ran.

He came out of the bush,

Presenting his tush,

And was shot up the arse by a man.

Christmas Morning Cancelled

My son has decided to spend Christmas morning with his Dad. He'll be coming back after lunch. Can't believe how devestated I feel over those 8 hours. Suddenly it don't feel like Christmas any more. I shouldn't complain as I have been fortunate enough to have 7 Christmas mornings with him already, but he's the one thing that stops my Christmas Day being just another day.

I Elfed myself

I elfed myself and my boys. Check it out. The scariest bit for me is the dog looks the most realistic!

Room 101

More Chrissie Themed ones:-

1. The thousands of those plastic twisty ties they use on toys these days to make them look good in the box - takes 20 minutes to release the teenage mutant ninja turtle and all his weapons.
2. The Queens Speech
3. The Sound of Music on TV - again!
4. The traditional Christmas Turkey to be cooking when it's 30 degrees plus outside!
5. The shopping mall queues and fights for parking spaces

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Chrissie Gifts:-

1. My brother in law has just bought 16 acres and is going all Farmer Giles on me. Claims to be planting an apple orchard and that I will be stomping apples for him. I therefore bought him an apple peeling, coring and slicing machine!
2. My mum's friend came with us to see Priscilla Queen of the Desert and comments on the feather boas worn by some of the audience. I have got her a purple one of her very own!
3. I made by Sales Rep at Brighton Toyota a magic wand to get those miracles performed that I always ask for.

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

Things I Learned this week

1. Playing with pink glitter for 10 minutes = weeks of finding sparkly bits on your floors, furniture, cat, in your ears, up your nose etc etc.
2. Don't take short cuts or use quick fixes when making jewellery as it will come back, bite you on the ass and cause you more work.
3. Don't promise to work from home on the weekend.... You are bound to leave your memory stick on your desk at the office.
4. Doesn't matter how much planning you will do... something can and will go wrong!
5. Just because it is a brand new car doesn't mean it's gonna start.

Yummy for my tummy

I saw this written on my box of "Healthy Start" cereal from Aldi:-

Suitable for Vegetarians

..... Phew! Thank gawd... cause there is nothing WORSE than finding a great big hunk of cow in your morning muesli.

Room 101

Well it's on everyone's mind anyway... so why not have a Chrissie themed Room 101.. and I can't even single out just one thing! "Tis the season to be SCROOGY!!!

• The Christmas lights that you spent 2 hours untangling to find they don't work anyway, cause 1 measly bulb is smashed and none of the shops sell the right replacements.
• Red and Green together - sends chills down my spine. I get flash backs to when my parents dressed me up as an elf/pixie for a fancy dress party. SHUDDER!
• Those annoying flashing reindeer ears that have that inane tune... why do they always makes those tunes in those high pitched tones that drill right into your brain.... Grrrr

I'm sure there will be more next week...... in the meantime please feel free to add your own...

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Quirky Tuesday

My Favourite Words:-

1. Luscious - just rolls round your mouth.. sounds very sexy.. just like it's meaning
2. Cashew - sounds like you're sneezing
3. Trickle - sounds soooooo cute!

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

Did ya miss me?

Even the sign in screen has forgotton who I am!!!

I am sorry I haven't been around lately... and it may be intermittant now until the new year. The business has taken off in a big way thanks to Christmas and Bartercard so I am busy making orders, Christmas shopping, wrapping etc etc etc etc.

I don't want to disappoint my loyal fan (s?) so I promise I will make a huge effort.... even if it is not as funny and entertaining as normal

..... what do ya mean it wasn't that funny anyway?.... Hey that's not nice!!!! mutter mutter sniff...

Minor Transmission Interruption

I apologise for my fans (all 2 of you... tee hee) but I must suspend my blog for a short while as I have an up and coming trade show to prepare for...

Normal transmission will resume soon I promise... In the meantime why not do some Christmas Shopping!

Don't forget me..... It's not goodbye, only Adieu!

Things I have Learned This Week:-

• Expect cold and damp feet all day if you wear canvas shoes in the rain.
• Not everyone is as excited as me about my business opportunities.
• Don't make meatballs in spaghetti sauce 2 days in advance, except when what you REALLY wanted was spaghetti bolognese.

And Never forget folks.... Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not after you!

Room 101

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.



Telemarketers


Ok I guess this is pretty obvious and I am sure to get an amen on this from everyone... well except from Telemarketers but they have already sold their soul to the devil so I guess their opinions don't count anymore anyways.


I got calls while eating my tea... would I like to buy Health Insurance, Mathematic learning programmes, cheaper phone calls etc...

So I switched to a silent number.. that'll fix the buggers...

It did... at first...

I got the call with the usual second delay on the beginning of the call... when he asked me how much I earned in a year I finally cracked it. I would like to sincerely apologise to the guy who was only doing his job... but I can't... as I'm not sorry... he should get a better job. Surely Praying Mantis' have job openings occasionally!

I finally decided to ditch the landline altogether... so I only get the telemarketers on my mobile now..
Hmmmmm

The funniest one was a phone company who tried to get me to switch to their company... until I told them I was already with them.... She got off the phone pretty quickly when I tried to get her to help me with some admin issues I was having trouble with.

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link! Things that may mean I am a nerd...

1. My obsession with Charmed
2. I love songs written by Jim Steinman
3. I could quite happily debate about who the best Star Trek Captain was
   

Monday's a Bitch

Home Sweet Home
1.Which room in your home best represents your personality?
My lounge. Bright, relaxed, quirky, warm, fun.
2.What are your neighbours like?
Don't know... I got older folks on one side and a young couple on the other.. don't see either very often.. usually cause I'm rarely home or busy.
3.What style of home decor suits your taste most(eg.country,modern,etc.)?
I like modern, but sophisticated. Not too crazy... Light and airy.
4.If money were no object what 3 impractical features would you want your home to include?
I'd love a spa, a bowling alley and a room with wall to wall shoes.
5.What's your least favourite household chore to do?
All of it. I'm creative... you can't expect me to be tidy as well!

Little Shopping Horrors

Alternative Titles:-

Nightmare Before Christmas

The Day my Sanity Broke

I had some urgent orders to make... and realised I did not have 1 thing:- 2 strand end tags.

No probs... I'm only 10 mins away from the shopping mall... piece of cake.
Oops forgot that it's getting near Christmas. Hard to find a park...
Tried 5 different stores. Found 3 strand, 4 strand, 5 strand, even 6 strand. No 2 strand.
No alternatives...
Had to drive 40 mins out of my way to the shop I knew would have them...
I arrived at Chadstone.
I didn't recognise the place. Didn't realise it had been so long since I had been here! The car park I used to use is not there anymore.. there's roadworks galore and the Christmas hoards are behind me and getting restless.... hard to find a park...
don't panic... once you're inside it will be fine...
It wasn't. The layout inside also seemed different and I became disorientated. I headed towards shops I recognise and found the location of my shop...
My shop wasn't there!
Panic.... no breathe.... found a map of the mall. The shop had moved. Phew. Hastily tried to memorise the map. This 5 mins in and out that I was hoping for was clearly not going to be.
Made my way to my new location... eyes wide like a child, all the shops I used to go to had moved.. or been replaced.
Found my store. Found my end tags. Yeah! Shop Assistant an unhappy mute, but that 'ain't gonna phase me now... I'm on the home stretch!
I try to re-trace my steps and get lost again. I'm getting hot and bothered and I have an itch where I can't scratch in public.
Find recognisable landmarks and stick to the places I knew. To add further embarrassment my zipper keeps falling down on my jeans.
I needed a drink of water but more importantly just wanted to get out!!! I felt like I was one of those mice in a lab that they throw in the same maze again and again, then suddenly change it without notice!
I hate shopping malls at this time of year. I am beginning to hate shopping full stop.
Can I change your name to Scrooge by deedpoll?

Jam Thoughts

I got stuck in traffic yet again on my way home... starting from right outside work this time! Couldn't even get a decent run up to a main road!


Anyhoo it got me thinking of ways to ease congestion. Of course most sci fi programmes have flying cars, but as air space is just as heavily guarded as land these days I can't see how that is going to be practical.


Next best thing I think would be multi storey freeways and roadways. If they can build a bridge over a road or railway, and they can dig tunnels under the Channel for Christ Sake! so surely building a very long bridge over the top of the existing freeway would be easy! There is only so much additional lanes across you can build on before you're knocking down homes and hospitals, so it makes sense that the only way is up.


Remember where you saw it first folks!

Room 101

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Ben Stiller Movies

I'm afraid I can't understand why people think his movies are so hilarious. In most movies of his I have seen I barely cracked a smile. The only one I liked so far is Night at The Museum... but that was because the monkey was funny, not him!

Quirky Tuesday

Music

1. I can't bear to listen to Kate Bush. If ever a song of hers is played I have to go outside or as far away as possible.
2. I lurve a good bass riff!
3. I love to sit with my headphones on and a beer, crank up the music and sing along to all the old favourites.

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

Music Mambo

Greetings, mambo people! Let's do Sunday's theme, Ones Day. Name five of your favorite one hit wonders.

It was hard to choose only 5.....

1. Mungo Jerry - In the Summertime
2. Wild Cherry - Play that Funky Music
3. Pseudo Echo - Funkytown
4. Club Nouveau - Lean on Me
5. Deee-Lite - Groove is in the Heart

by the way... going through One Hit Wonder Central I was surprised to see some bands up there... but then I guess it depends which country it is based in and was the definition of "hit" is... even so, I don't think Midnight Oil would be happy to see themselves on the list!

Cool Things I found This Week

Found this cool site on a winery, which I think perfectly shows how clever branding and marketing is just as important as the taste. Fifth Leg sounds like my kinda wine!

While we're on the subject of wine... check out the Whine Guide. May contain offensive language, but tht's part of it's... ahem... "charm".

Finally:-

Hotlines

I recently went on the search for a Hotline number, and got sidetracked (as usual) by some of the weird and wonderful hotlines that are here in Australia. Thought I would share a few with you...

24 hour hand injury hotline - if you spend all day everyday hurting your hands?
Marine Whistleblowers Hotline - help on how to whistle when you're at sea?
Supernanny Parent Help hotline - someone to come round your house and tell your kids their behaviour is not asseptible?
Fodder Hotline - Cows ring when they are hungry?
Seafood Consumer Hotline - if you see someone eat a prawn - report it!
Fruitfly Hotline - even fruit flies need help sometimes!
and my favourite.......
Sly Grog Hotline - fancy a swifty?

On My Travels....

I spotted a van advertising Stiletto Removals....

do you think they take your shoes off for you? Will they carry them for you as well?

My Dilemma

(sing the title to the tune of My Sharona... don't forget the air guitar!)

Might make this a regular segment... haven't decided yet....

I discovered recently that a work colleague in a nearby office sells beads and findings wholesale. She and her husband import them direct from China. Whoo hoo I thought.. cheap stuff. I gave her my business card and she said she would e-mail me the catalog.

Haven't heard anything since...

so my dilemma is.... do I remind her?

The thing that amazes me, and makes me reluctant to chase her, is that I will be new business for her, so really it was in HER interests to send me the catalog. She is doing herself an injustice and losing money by forgetting... so it makes me wonder what sort of reliable business would she run if she can't even remember to create a new business proposition for herself?

Reminds me of Lifesingers recent post on the lack of Customer Service, and the recent overuse and insistence on Consumerism. Check it out... hits the spot!

Room 101

TV BINGO

We really are scraping the bottom of the entertainment barrel with this show aren't we.

If I wanted to play Bingo I would go sit with the purple rinses and double knit cardies in the local RSL. I do not want to sit in the comfort of my own home and watch insane individuals giddy with the promise of cash and hear the annoying drawls of the compere.

It's the poor mans Price is Right I tells ya! At least that show had Larry to ogle. If you ask me it's a load of balls! (what.... and you wouldn't stoop to that joke huh?)

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Why I Love Australia...

We all get a day off work for the sake of a horse race that lasts for approximately 3 minutes.

There's no wonder they call this the lucky country!

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

Bit lame of me this week, but I'm a bit short of ideas at the mo.... this week we'll go with flowers.

oh, and one of my answers is false.... can ya guess which one?

1. My favourite flowers are Lillies, in particular the Peace Lily
2. I put lemonade in the water of cut flowers and they seem to last longer
3. I once sent myself flowers to make my partner jealous.

Manic Monday

Describe yourself in one word:
Loco!
What is your favorite kitchen utensil and why?
My wooden spoon... great for stirring (tee hee) and also handy for slapping people on the back of the head when they get in the way.
What is the one thing that frightens you the most about growing old?
Not really scared of growing old... petrified of death though. Maybe the worst thing would be losing my independence and having to rely on people to do things for me.

What the....

T/L and I went to Maccas for brekkie, and as I don't like coffee and they don't have hot choc and it was too cold for a milkshake, I decided to order a tea....

.... and I got a cup of hot water! The lazy B***ards couldn't even put the tea bag in for me!

I go to the drive-thru for the convenience, yet have the inconvenience of having to make my own cup of tea from scratch! It's just wrong!!!!

Cool Things I found This Week

How cool is this! My Meme's are on The Meme Directory!, ok so I had to beg... but I'm on the map whoo hoo! Thanks to The Meme Directory for supporting me. It's still a new site, but I will be checking regularly for Memes whenever I have nothing to write... and I suggest you do too!
(actually I didn't have to beg per se, I just asked... but it was funnier to say I begged.)

Here's a site worth a look. If you have had trouble finding something to wear (we all have at some stage) and want something waterproof AND sexy, or just something offensive, then try ExtremeCostumes.com! Of course the reason I have stumbled upon it is that it sells Happy Bunny merchandise! Hard to pick a favourite, but I think it is "Makeover? You need to be runover!"

Looking for a Chrissie pressie you can post? Maybe something humerous? Check out StickerGiant.com. They sell (surprise surprise) stickers, but also funny fridge magnets! Great stocking fillers (though I hear legs are better tee hee)

And finally!

My Outrageous Name is:

Penny Hoar

Get Your Outrageous Name

Time Travel... No!!!!!

I watched "Meet the Robinsons" with C on the weekend, and it brought up some rather disturbing realisations about time travel.

In the movie the kid travelled back in time to fix what went wrong in the past and therefore change the present.

What these movie makers fail to realise is that if you have changed the past then in effect it was done right in the first place, thereby making it ok in the future/present and therefore making the trip in to the past unneccessary.. which means that you wouldn't go back and change things.. but then that means that you didn't go back to fix things so then it would go wrong so you would have to go back etc etc etc etc....

My solution: DON'T MESS WITH TIME! Take Marty McFly's advice and leave things well alone!

Instead of time travel I think a time window would be more practical. This would mean that you could see what effect the decision you make today effects your future, without messing about with something that shouldn't be messed with..

... and also remember where you put your keys last night!

Room 101

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.



Emus have got to go in.

It's the eyes... those horrible beady evil murderous looking eyes.. and the way they chase you around the wildlife park.

Besides... what use is a flightless bird.... I mean Honestly!

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

This week it's Birthdays!

1. My Birthdate is 7/5/75
2. My mom's birthdate is 30/6/36 (the ladies of my family make it easier for the men to remember our birthdays!)
3. There is 13 years difference between my mum and my auntie, 13 between her and my sister, 13 between my sister and myself, 13 betweem me and my neice and 13 between her and my son! I have 5 years to go before either myself or my niece gets the next one in!

Monday's a Bitch

Very Scary
1. Do you have any recurring nightmares?
Nope, but I do have VERY strange dreams. I even write them down sometimes.
2. When was the last time you screamed in horror?
I was gardening and looked down to see a spider crawling up my shirt. I HATE spiders!
3. What was the most bizarre thing you ever got while trick-or-treating?
I got a few boxes of sultanas once... and one smart person decided they would choose trick, so we egg and floured his front door.
4. What do you consider to be the most over-used costume?
Guess this time of year it would have to be a witch... but the worst costumes are the tacky bunny girls who are just looking for an excuse to wear skin tight lycra and show off their tits.
5. What costume could someone wear that would be a turn-on for you?
I once got my T/L to wear a tool belt in the bedroom. Nothing else... just the tool belt ;) (blush!)

Cool Things I found This Week

I got a new phone this week cause my old one decided to die on me. I was secretly glad because I wanted a new phone anyway. Maybe the old one knew I didn't love it anymore and decided that it's life was no longer worth living.... anyhoo!
I found this site great for downloading useful things for your phone, and it's Nokia approved.
I also found a free download site, but haven't dared use it yet!

Here's an interesting blog I found this week. Not one of the usual wacky "cool" blogs that's part of the in crowd.. but interesting nevertheless. A Pastor, who like trains (Simpsons come to mind by any chance?) but I loved the way he has his own "Tales of Pidgeon Falls" where he escapes into his self created basement world. Enjoy!

Finally, in view of Halloween on Wednesday:-

I am A Vampire

You have a real thirst for bliss, and you consider yourself a true hedonist. And you're not afraid to walk alone in life, if it means getting what you truly crave. You truly enjoy entrancing people. Not to mention the ensuing pleasures of the flesh. Your tastes have been called decadent and bizarre. You usually give in to your temptations, no matter how primal Your greatest power: Your flawless ability to seduce and charm Your greatest weakness: Human flesh You play well with: Werewolves

What Kind of Monster Are You?

59 days

I had a market today at C's school, and we worked out that it is only 59 days until Christmas! If that isn't enough to put you in panic mode I don't know what is!

I have decided this year I am going to do virtually all my Christmas shopping online.. avoiding those horrendous shopping "Malls"(I HATE that word), long queues and fights for the best buys!

My main shopping locations will be FCUK, Peter Alexander, EBay and My Shopping. Feel free to join me anytime... I'll be the one leisurely browsing with a cup of tea in one hand, a tim tam in the other and the biggest, widest, cheesiest grin on my face.

computer crash

I can't respond to any emails today,

something's crashed on my computer. . .

Room 101

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.



This week I want to put those annoying little plastic clothes tags in Room 101.

Very annoying if you have no scissors to hand. If you try and pull them off you end up ripping your fingers to shreds. I am quite sure that they are not going to be very good for the environment (anything small and plastic rarely is) and if it was put on by one of those idiot shop assistants who put it through the fabric instead of through the sewn-in clothing label then they leave gaping great holes in all your new clothes!

Worst is the ones they put on to keep shoes together. How the hell are you supposed to try on shoes if they are tied together! Shuffling around the store as if your 5 year old has tied your shoelaces together is not not going to give you a good indication of whether they are comfortable or not. Why do they do that? Are there people out there who steal only 1 shoe????

I say there is nothing wrong with safety pins (re-useable!) and the good old fashioned paper sticker!

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

This week it's Teeth

1. I have all my wisdom teeth and they never caused me any problems. whoo hoo!


2. I used to have a gap in between my two front teeth, but it closed up when all the adult teeth arrived, much to my mum's disgust as she still has hers ;)


3. I always fancied the idea of having fangs!

Music Mambo

I'm going to do something a little different today. I'm not really liking the themes for this week (used car day and match day), so I'm going to pick my readers' brains and see what kind of themes YOU can come up with. So today's mambo will be:
1. Name a few random songs you enjoy and want to recommend to others.
Gonna recommend a few that may or may not be known to my friends in the Northern Hemisphere:-

1. Old Man River - La
2. Missy Higgins - Peachy
3. Sneaky Sound System - Hip Hip Hooray
4. Operator Please- Just a Song about Ping Pong
5. The Beautiful Girls - I thought about you.

2. Give the mememeister one or two themes to use for future Mambos and Humps.
Hmmmm - tough one... I'm relatively new so you might have already done these:-

1. 5 sexiest songs
2. Songs that jog good/silly memories
3. Your favourite colour songs (am I scraping bottom of barrel already???)
4. Make the ultimate boy/girl band from solo artists
5. You're stuck in an elevator for 10 minutes... what music do you pray for...
6. Inappropriate songs for.... (then pick a person or situation.... e.g - inappropriate song for a Funeral would be "Oh Happy Day")

Cool Things I found This Week

Let's have a theme one:- BUNNIES!!!
Being a blue happy one myself.. here are a few links close to my heart:-

Wanna know more about bunnies? Check out the Bunny Facts!

Wanna adopt a bunny like mine? Go and see Bunny Hero Labs adoption Centre.... there's other pets too... go find yerself a friend.

Wanna see what bunny madness drives ya to? Check out Bunny Suicides :(

Finally, and totally unrelated....

My Drag Queen Name Is:

Barb Wyre

Drag Queen Name Generator

Data Inaccuracies

My drive home is a nightmare. There are only 2 road options to get home, and both of them are sheer hell with all the traffic. I decided to put a mathematical approach to illustrate my point:-

* Whereis tells me that my total trip is 19.38km and should take 19 mins. (Soooo naïve!)
* My first 11.67km took me 12 mins last night (whereis says 10... not bad considering there are roadworks on the way).
* The remaining 7.71 km took me 25 minutes!!!!

40% of my trip takes 68% of my travel time. Step aside Einstein..get back Stephen Hawkings! I can whinge mathematically!

Crayzee urges

Do you ever get those urges to do something really crazy for no apparent reason? I'm not talking sexual urges, so get them right out of your head now...

.........NOW I said ;)

Walking down the car park driveway and I had the sudden urge to do a cartwheel. Now I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing.. I haven't done a cartwheel since I was at Junior School, and nowadays it would most probably involve ripping the seat of my pants at the very least, and more likely result in a hospital visit and traction.

Like when you're driving round a small roundabout, on a beautiful sunny day, no other cars around... don't ya have the urge to just go round and round the roundabout about 4-5 times? Now this I have done, on 3 occasions: once to delight my boy, once to delight my drunken passengers (I was sober!) and once to make T/L feel sick from his monster hangover.

Other examples:-
* Sitting next to a gorgeous looking guy on the train, and he smelled delicious, and I had the urge to have a lick.
* In the supermarket next to a carefully designed stack of boxes, and I get the urge to knock them all down.
* See a dirty car next to the road, and I get the urge to write my name in the dust.
* Smell the cut grass and get the urge to roll in it.

Makes you feel alive don't it?!

Room 101

Busybodies. Getting their nose into other peoples business where it don't belong. Getting all involved in something that is insignificant and doesn't need to be anyway near as big a deal as they make it out to be. Even worse is when they make a career out of it!

There are lots of important things they can get involved in.. World peace, climate change, Poverty... but no... they have to worry about 1 poor guy who is just out there trying to make a living cleaning cars.. (does he have a licence to use a hose? Can he use that hose/pressure washer on our premises? If his licence is issued by Yarra Valley Water does that mean he can't use it in areas under jurisdiction of another water board?)

AAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhh!

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Too Many Tracys

I work for an air conditioning company which is part of a global business conglomerate called UTC (United Technologies Corporation). We are all connected on the global e-mail list.

There are currently 4 Trac(e)y Taylors in UTC, which poses a very small but highly annoying problem occasionally. I get e-mails from Canada all the time, asking me for Warranties on various problems, and inviting me to Christmas parties and Raffles. Tempting though it is to hop on a plane and join in the fun (their Xmas dinner sounded SO much better than ours) I have to decline. I have repeated asked them to amend their distribution list, but alas, the occasional e-mail still gets through.

Tracy in California gets a lot of my mail. In a way I am kind of glad, because his forwarding e-mails are amusing. Today this was an addition:-

T-shirt of the day: Spotted this morning. In big bold type. "I don't finish anythi"
Made me titter!

Tracey in the UK is a recent addition to the clan. All the other TTs welcome her with open arms. "Join our pain"

Trac(e)y Taylors of the world unite!

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

This week it's MILK

1. I used to be able to drink 1 pint of milk during my break, when I worked at my first job. It had to be from a glass bottle though and it had to be REALLY cold.


2. If I have more than 1 tablespoon full of milk in my tea I can't drink it.


3. I once left a small carton of strawberry milk on my window sill for 3 years! I still don't really know why... and it was SOOOOOOO rank by the time I eventually through it out.

Monday's a Bitch

When was the last time you...
1.Cleaned out your closet?
Last time I had a major one was about a year ago, but I keep throwing stuff out every now and again... when I need room for something new ;)
2.Went to a concert?
Robbie Williams last December. Freakin' awesome!... oops - actually my son's school concert was about a month ago!
3.Had a milkshake?
Gee - can't remember! Probably a Macca's one about 6 months ago!
4.Got all dressed up?
Went on the Tramcar Restaurant with my Daddy & T/L last month.
5.Went grocery shopping?
Today!

Manic Monday

If you could have a romance with any fictional character, who would it be?
Dorian Gray. I fell in love with the character after seeing the film League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, I imagine him to be romantic, flirtatious and dry witted. (I have a suspicion it is really Stuart Townsend I have the crush on, but anywhoo!)

If you could be invisible for one hour, where would you go and what would you do?
Only 1 hour! That's soooo unfair. I would try for the Essendon Footy Club's locker room, or in the room while my T/L and his folks are talking about me (see what they REALLY think of me), or maybe it would be fun to freak out people I don't like very much by making them think they are haunted... ya see... I got FAR too much FUN to have... need more than 1 hour please!

If you could ask God any single question, what would it be?
The most obvious one.... what is the meaning of all this?! (or maybe.... was I REALLY that bad in the last life?!?)

Music Mambo

Hola amigos! Ready for another Mambo? Today is Grouch Day. Try not to be too grouchy as you name your . . . Top five grouchiest musicians.

Here's mine in no particular order:-

1. Bjork - She's had many a tantrum and hit a reporter.
2. The Oasis Boys - They even look like Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street
3. Robbie Williams - I read his Biography and he often had grouchy episodes
4. Alanis Morrissette - her songs always sound grouchy to me
5. Eskimo Joe - haven't seen the lead singer crack a smile yet.

Musical Memories

Isn't is amazing what memories can be associated with songs. I'm listening to Vega on my phone so I can concentrate at work. The office here gets very noisy - especially with the woodpecker and the boot (I'll explain that another day) trying to out-do each other.

Anyhoo - Listening to Queen "I want to break free" - great song and I remember the video clip with them all dressed up as women. But the one memory that comes up every single time I hear that song is one day when I was in primary school. It was lunch time on a hot day and the bell had gone but the teacher had not finished the class so we were still sat there quietly with the door open for a breeze. Another class comes out of the adjacent classroom and one kid as clear as day sang "I want to break wind" to the tune - then suddenly realised that our whole class had heard him and we were all giggling. He blushed intently and we were quickly dismissed to the playground.

It still makes me smile when I think about it... and ever since that day I have substituted "wind" for "free", much to C's disgust!

Horny For Hank

I'm just loving Californication right now. The script writing is great.. the pace is excellant.. story lines truthful yet quirky. Mostly I am in love with Hank Moody. He had just GOT to be every woman's wet dream. Sexy, edgy, naughty, quick witted, confident, sarcastic, loving, attentive, great father... did I mention sexy? Every girl loves a bad boy (c'mon be honest) but with a heart of gold. Hank is just IT and a Bit!

Congrats to the scriptwriters... ya got me hooked. Congrats to the Director and David Duchovny... ya got me horny!

Check out these quotes... great lines. My Favourite:-

I probably won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister

Room 101

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.



Picky Eaters.
Damn annoying! I understand that some people don't like things.. Fair enough, but sometimes people can take it too far!
I mean how can you not like Pasta, but eat potatoes? They both have the same bland taste to them... Love curry and rice, but don't like Risotto? Wha!?
I don't like coffee and generally don't drink it, but if I am at someone's house and they make a huge effort to make tiramisu from scratch, then I'll eat it (and I actually enjoyed it!) yet others scream "ooh I don't like coffee" at their first mouthful and then sit miserably watching everyone else enjoy the creamy delight.

It's just NOT RIGHT I tells ya!!!!

I have a Question....

There is an advert on TV at the moment showing annoyingly cute kids enjoying the benefits of fresh fruit and veggies in unique ways. Example of which is shown here.. Great! Wonderful Idea. I whole heartedly approve.

My question however is this....

What do you expect the parents to do with all the leftovers? The rocket kid uses 1 slice of orange and 1 tiny chunk of watermelon, meaning some poor mother has got to chow down on the remaining 10kilos of fruit that the brat leaves behind!

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

This week it's Shoes

1. I have to alternate daily between heels and flats, otherwise I get Metatarsalgia.


2. My 8 year old boy is already a size 4!!


3. I once had to tape my shoe to my foot as the peep toe broke apart.

Music Mambo

Hello everyone! Today's theme is tube top day. Who wears tube tops? Women! So we'll change it to Rockin' Women Day.

Tell me your . . .

Favorite female (rock) singer - Katie Steele from Little Birdy
Favorite female guitarist - Chrissie Hynde from the Pretenders
Favorite female bassist - Janet English from Spiderbait
Favorite female singer from any genre - I'm gonna go a little whacky and say Nina Simone... the most awesome voice I've every heard.

Finally, be daring and tell us who is the . . .

Queen Of All Music - well of course we ALL bow down to Madonna.

Cool Things I found This Week

Firstly -here's a rather humorous notion I was sent this week ;)

Everyone loves a saga! Well this poor girl had a doozy recently that I stumbled upon... and I've ended up lovin' her blog... (if you wanna check out the other side of the dispute then see here... I'll let you decide for yourself.. tho personally I think one is a bit cuckoo!)

Want free stuff? of course you do! Here's some free Icons for ya....

Lastly, and as a change from You Tube, I thought I would introduce one of my favourite Flickr pages... great artistic vision... I love the different way of looking at the everyday and ordinary. Enjoy!

Blah Blah Blah!

I feel like strangling someone. I'm gonna call this person Woodpecker... cause at the moment his voice is boring into my head like a woodpecker boring into a tree.

Woodpecker has verbal diarrhoea. He is either rambling on about his latest conspiracy theory, having slanging matches with colleagues about footy, trying to edge in on the latest practical joke, harassing colleagues with inane jokes or useless facts, and his favourite... going on and on AND ON
AND ON AND ON about how crap things are done around here and trying to change the world 1 company procedure at a time.

He's loud, raucous, grating and downright irritating. I'm tired of hearing his incessant noise.

I am reminded of Charlie Brown.. When he talks to his teacher and all you hear back is the muted trumpet noise. Wish I could turn his volume down to that of the muted trumpet. Least then in would be bearable. I can't concentrate on my work... can't even concentrate on writing this post. I'm
going insane! As Charlie Brown would say "I can't stand it!"

I wonder if Mrs Woodpecker wears earmuffs to bed?

Quote of the Day
"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before."
- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower

Curse My Papa!

Don't get me wrong. I love my Daddy... heaps, and I loved having him here... but I have been cursing him lately for 2 reasons:-
* He installed EXTREMELY addictive computer games on my laptop. How am I supposed to get work done when I keep popping in to San Francisco to see if I can find the Bowling Ball in the Alcatraz Prison Cell?
* He prefers Full Cream Milk, and more importantly butter, so I bought some in specially. I had a block of butter left over and have been "using it up" and am now addicted. I have been trying to find ways of having butter in every meal! (Have you every tried butter on your cereal?) Subsequently my
pants are getting tighter! If I'm not careful I am going to need to upgrade the suspension on my Corolla.

Slave Wanted... Enquire within

Wouldn't it be nice if you could hire a slave and not be considered inhumane? I'm not talking sexual and I'm not talking about being cruel and racist or discriminating.... Hey! Don't go... just hear me out 'kay?

Maybe slave is not the right word... in fact the more I think about it the job I have in mind already had a title - personal assistant. Yes, that's it - PA is more PC right?

Basically I am willing to pay someone to do things I can't be bothered doing. For instance... this week I really need to update my stock database for my jewellery business... but I can't be bothered. PA steps in and gets busy. Oh, and I'm busy on the sofa watching House, can you do the washing up for me as well please? Ta! Also can you try and find my boys passbook, and write a letter of complaint to the school about his swimming being cancelled? I'm sure there's heaps more I can find for you to do should you wish.

Pay will be crap, but there will be praise and compliments aplenty! Please submit your applications in the comments section.

I now have Homer Simpson in my head shouting "Can't someone Else Do It.. The Garbage Man Can!"

Room 101

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.


Occupational Health and Safety.. The thorn in the side of anyone with common sense. I tells ya it is getting out of control!

One guy bangs his head on an open door of one of our custom built special car bodies, and the company has to spent hundreds, nay thousands of dollars getting ALL of existing and future custom bodies modified so it can't happen again. All because 1 guy didn't watch where he was going?! If you bang your head on the cupboard door in the kitchen... do you call the cabinet maker in and totally renovate your kitchen? Or do you curse yourself for being a silly bugger and get back to making nachos for brekkie?!

Does that mean because I stubbed my toe on the bed this morning getting dressed that I can sue the bed company for not leaving toe holes in the base?

What will it be next? "The greatest escapologist of our generation, Howdaree, will perform his most daring stunt yet.... Climbing a ladder without a 3 point contact harness"

I rest my case.

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

This week it's "Sleep"

1. When I can't sleep I have this set "dream" I re-enact in my head, and I carefully go through it, changing it and going back... until I drift off.
2. I sleep on my tummy when it's cold, and on my back when I'm hot.
3. I have a flat sheet as well as a duvet/doona... but I HATE it when it is tucked in. Feels like my feet are tied to the bed. If I ever go to a hotel with a flat sheet the first thing I do is un-tuck ALL the corners.

TUT... A Note from the Universe

I got the following message from the Universe... talks to me all the time, but this one in particular is worth sharing...

You see, Tracy, there is a choice for all who aspire to live in abundance, that only the wisest ever perceive.

You can Visualise a life in which you possess fabulous wealth.

or....

You can visualize a life in which you are creatively fulfilled, with fantastic work, dancing in the marketplace... and you possess fabulous wealth.

Do you see the oh-so-subtle difference?

I see you as the dancing sort,

The Universe