CATS ME IF YOU CAN

CATS ME IF YOU CAN
I love cats. My T/l hates them, which is a shame because my cat adores him. She just loves rubbing herself up against his shoes, wallet, smokes etc etc :)

In the 60's

Never thought I'd say this - but I love being in the 60's. Not my age stoopid :) This morning I hit the scales I was 69.6kg Whoo hoo! Of course then I go and fuck it up by forgetting my breakfast so "having" to go buy a muffin instead, but hey - I got there..... I know I'm still on track.

Is that a choir of angels I hear crying hallelujah????

Doing the Do

Still can't crack that wonderful world of the "60s" but getting pretty damn close. grrrrr. Got the dreaded "do" on Friday in the city, and I'm already dreading it. There is going to be a "friend" who I have betrayed, and a long lost "friend" who was lost for a reason. All fun and games - whoo hoo. Jelly throwing at 50 paces!

I am treating myself to a new hair "do" to try and boost my confidence before the big event. I'll need all the help I can get.

Up To Here: What if the sea came…

Up To Here: What if the sea came…
Pretty interesting idea. Why stop at the US? Give it a try here too.

What now?

Only 3 days in to my supposed re-start and I'm already waining. Don't really know why. I bought size 12 pants last night so I should be thrilled - it should give me the incentive to keep going... but it isn't. I have been on the scales every day - bad idea but I'm doing it anyway. I have gone from 72.4 Monday to 71.9 Tuesday to 70.9 this morning - another great incentive to keep going - but it isn't.

I haven't succumbed yet though..... yet.

I have an elderly friend in hospital due for open heart surgery this morning. Kinda brings my mortality into focus. I hate hospitals. I hate seeing people I love in there. I hate seeing them down and dejected, pain and worry in their eyes. Such a happy go lucky man reduced to a weak and frightened shadow of himself. His loved ones around him physically and mentally drawn and exhausted. I'm not generally religious and never go to church, but I pray that he's OK.

Who Decides?

I haven't been ignoring you all - guess I have been in hiding though. Felling pretty sorry for myself and binge eating to boot. Not something to feel good about. Got myself a mini target again so hopefully that should be enough to get me back on track.

Bought some new digital scales and feel very blessed to learn this morning that I only put on a couple of kilos, which considering my dalliances over the last few days is pretty bloody amazing. I was 72. something. I'll try and keep regular tabs on here again.

I may be forced to face my demons in a few weeks time. If I have to then I am determined to look pretty bloody amazing! Need as much confidence as I can get.

Please just tell me this - who decided what everyones ideal weight should be? Who decided that womens dress sizes should be as they are? Who decides what the next seasons fashion colours are going to be? In fact, who decided that no clothes is Indecent? who set the rules of decency?

Probably a bit too heavy for a Monday Morning huh?! Perhaps I should stick to trying to remember all the names of the seven dwarves or Santas Reindeers!

So that's why they were cheap...

My digital scales are broke. I got them very cheap on e-bay. They have never worked really well - dodgy button - you had to press it a certain way and I never really figured out what that certain way was. Finally on Tuesday I tried to switch it on, and despite trying every which way I could think of I could not get them to switch on. I thought they might need a new battery - but yesterday I got a new battery for them and I still can't get them to work. It's either a nice way of telling me not to bother weighing myself as I'll only get disappointed, or I have bought another pile of e-bay crap. grrrr.

Found this tonight. Quite cool, kinda cheeky. I did copy the code into here but I think I must have done something wrong, so I'll post the link instead. If anyone is interested in giving me free lessons on how to do this blogging stuff for real then PLEASE get in touch :)
http://www.zipperfish.com/mediabase/popup.php?Active=GameFiles&&ID=1319

I'm still here

I'm borrowing a work vehicle until mine is better. Unfortunately it is a ute that an apprentice drives during the day. The moron took the keys home with him tonight. So I'm still stuck at work waiting for him to bring them back. Not happy Jan - I'm gonna miss Neighbours now :) What? yeah of course I watch Neighbours - I'm a pom for Chrissake!

Another bad weekend diet wise. Went to my sisters for a party and had the night off - by eating enough food for a week! Potatoes, bread, creamy dip, curry puffs, choc mud cake - in fact pretty much everything on the NO list. Next day was no better. T/l bought me some sensational "pain au chocolate" for brekkie, we had fish and chips for lunch, and I had 2 ham and cheese criossants for tea. Was nice though.

Will have another crack at being good this week. So far so good. Had my water, went to the gym and I didn't see the cheese in my salad - honest! :)

Nothing But Trouble

I'm having trouble sticking to the diet. Not sure why. Feel hungry/nauseous - not sure which. Hmmm

Got waxed yesterday. Got the full brazilian. Don't know whether it's because I have lost weight or whether I am just getting used to it but it didn't hurt as much this time. Nice and smooth now :) Girl was telling me that she's had heaps of calls from guys wanting brazilians. Hetro ones too. I know I know that is a very stereotypical thing to say, it's just most men I know whinge when they have their toe-nails cut - and the thought of having hair ripped out from their balls is enough to make them go pallid. My T/l would have to be under a general anaesthetic before he could do it!

Involved in a car accident last night. Feeling a bit sore and sorry for myself this morning. neck aches, back aches, head aches. Nothing I could do except close my eyes and wait for the guy to hit the back of my car. I instantly went into "Super Insurance chick to the Rescue" mode and was busy writing everyones details down and making sure everyone was OK.

My sick car at the repairers as we speak. She's probably glad of the break, and this might be her chance to get that wash she has been wanting for so long :)

Drum Roll Please

Ta-da! Lost 0.9kg from last week, putting me 1/2 kilo below my lowest so far. I feel really good I must admit. Think my metabolism has kicked up a notch as well. Those Atkins Brekkie bars taste like cardboard, but they certainly get "things" moving if ya know what I mean. Let's see if I can survive another weekend with t/l without caving in (too much)

See how I got a blue bunny on my ticker.... and if u look really really really closely you can see him smiling :)

Just The Boost I Needed

Hit the work gym again at lunchtime, and the rarely resident PT was in. He's the guy who showed me the ropes when I first joined. He said I looked great and seemed genuinely impressed - I even saw the double take! Of course after that I tried even harder on the treadmill, and was slightly concerned that my head might not fit back through the gym entrance. It feels like a bigger deal when the compliment is from a "health professional" - and the fact that he is easy on the eye himself was a bonus too.

Oh, I sneaked a peek at the scales this morning - but you'll have to wait for tomorrow for the "official" verdict. (That's if I remember to weigh myself)

Few More Hours Please....

I'm in stress mode. Got lots and lots of things I want to get done, and I am trying to fit everything in by yesterday. I got lists everywhere, I'm skint, I'm tired. Apart from that I'm wonderful! :)

Hanging on to the program and apart from the half square of chocolate I found myself scoffing last night been very good. I have been on the treadmill 3 times this week. Even managed to run for 3 minutes straight. Watch out Kathy Freeman - I'm right behind ya!

Getting tough tho..... It's the stress that makes me wanna eat...... Anyone got a few spare hours they can lend me?

Going Down

I'm bouncing around all over the place at the moment. Gained 3 kgs on my 10 day binge, and lost 2.8kg as of Saturday morning. So I'm back to where I started.

Have to try and keep the decline for a bit longer. Some b##tard brought Krispy Kremes in for morning tea but I am to resist... reseeest!!!!

I did have pasta Saturday night, but checked the scales this morning and no real harm done, so looking forward to seeing a loss on Friday. PLEASE!

Seems that life at the moment is throwing in any obstacle it can think of.... but gotta stay focussed. Kinda feels like an episode of smallville (no I don't watch it - the trailers are enough to put me off!) where do you get those lycra suits from?

Catch My Disease

Everyone's doing it! It's like a craze that's sweeping the nation. Mum is doing it - and seems to be going very well. My sisters mother in law is doing it, although I don't really know why, cause she doesn't really need to. One of mom's work mates is considering it, and ones of my mates is doing it as well (although she's got no chance cause she's not committed)

Oh, and in case u haven't already guessed - I'm talking about TF. Good luck to them all I say. I'm especially proud of my mum. She has never been a water drinker - hates the stuff. She is however making sure she has her 2 litres, and is finding it easier every day. Good on ya! If ever I needed inspiration - you're it!

On a separate note, here's a blog I came across yesterday. Thought the pirate dictionary pretty good fun. Find it interesting that the term bitch is becoming more of a compliment rather than an insult, meaning a strong woman, one who will not suffer fools gladly. Call me a bitch anytime!
http://thebookbitches.blogspot.com

More Money Than Sense

That is my answer to the question - what kind of people vote on Big Brother. BB06 this year is boring. Yawning boring. So much so I put the late show on when I have insomnia.

They finally put someone interesting in - Perry. Loud, opinionated, loud, outrageous, slightly dizzy, loud, confident, abrupt - did I mention loud? She was pushing all the right buttons, getting reactions from the sloths, made something worth watching. So what happens? First week she is up for eviction the "public" vote her off! Hence it's boring again. I mean jeez guys - think before you sms. Sure she was annoying, loud, mental - but at least she was doing something. You don't have to live with her - so keep her in to stir the pot! Why not vote the plastic fantastic Crystal instead - the only thing worth watching out for with her is how high she can get her hair on a Sunday night.

Vote with your head, not your heart - keep the annoying people in for some interest - arguments, debates, fights - that's what we want to see - not lounging sun catchers who whinge about their white bits.

Focus

Had a very low few days. Bad news on Saturday night and feels like everything is falling down around my ears. Been avoiding this area as wanted to keep it positive and didn't have anything even remotely amusing or interesting to say. Still haven't.

My mantra for the week... FOCUS. Stay positive. Keep looking forward. Keep your eyes on the goal.

Started the TF programme again. Put on a few kilos but going to treat this as a new start. Food is nourishment again instead of comfort. Went on treadmill yesterday and worked pretty hard. So far planning on doing same today.

Lots of decisions to make - every one feels like a bad one. How do you sort through which is the best?

FOCUS.

HXB RIP

I cremated a Hot Cross Bun last night. I know it's not Easter but that is when I started this diet (crusade?) and as HXBs are my absolute favourite I hid them in my freezer for very special occasions.

Well I was hungry last night so that was my special occasion. Stuck one under the grill and went on the computer....... and forgot about it. Think it was about an hour later before I realised. Of course it was black and unedible (lovely charcoal for the BBQ tho) Believe me that's not the first time I have done that.

Karma? maybe. Stupidity? Definitely!

Oh, and I've just had my first Caffeine fix in 3 months. Will be bouncing off the walls any minute now.

Feel like a Pubic Hair on a Toilet Seat

I'm pissed off. I hate being "overweight" (at least I'm not classed as obese anymore) I hate having a cold. I feel like I have a space suit on (just don't fart!) I'm the girl in the bubble. My ears feel blocked, I feel like I am about to sneeze all the time. (people think I'm pulling faces at them - it's just my nose itching). I keep wrinkling it like on Bewitched. (my spells aren't working tho - doh!). I'm grumpy, I'm emotional. Can't even blame it on the time of the month. What other excuse can I use.... SAD syndrome is always effective this time of year :)

Thanks to Life for his comment. The site he mentions is cool too. Looking forward to my motivational thoughts for the day - definitely need a buck up.

Here's one I have been meaning to post up for a while. Definitely brought a smile to my face. A little harmless voyeurism. I'm not sure whether Aussies know who Paul Daniels is - but he's a "famous", now infamous, magician. Very "uncool". Aussies think Daryl Somers with a "find the ball under the cup" game and you get the picture. Those in the States, think David Copperfield starring on a cheesy game show and you might come close. Lemme know what you think. http://www.pdet.blogspot.com/
- check out feb 18 especially - I'm guessing he's in his 60s now???

Lost - 1 Motivation. If found please return.

I caved. Made it to 5:30pm but I caved. Bought bake at home dinner rolls and fruit steamed puddings. Had 4 of the rolls with REAL butter and Deli cheese, then later had a steamed pudding with a huge dollop of my childhood favourite - tinned cream. Hmmmmmmm.

I have lost my mojo, my motivation, my willpower. I am bored of the shakes. I am bored of my job, I am bored of my life. Decided I will have a week off to pick up the pieces and hopefully my strength will have returned to be able to pick up the baton again and keep on running.

Good news. I made 30 pairs of earrings last night and managed to fulfill my order on time. phew! I need an extra 5 hours every day to catch up on all the things I plan to do. I spend all day at my "real" job wishing I was home so I could get on with my own business, then when I get home I am so stuffed I cannot be bothered looking at a computer for another few hours (surely 8 hours a day is enough!)

ah well. Did some random blogging before to cheer myself up (or kill time - whichever you prefer) this one caught my eye http://lifesinger.blogspot.com/ Enjoy.

Low Down on My Low

Had a day & 1/2 off the diet on the weekend. Didn't even enjoy it yesterday. Saturday was ok - had some leftover noodles lunchtime (greasy) and took the boys for fish and chips teatime. Overate. Was yummy though.

Yesterday was a different story, and I feel ashamed and disgusted with myself. I was basically grumpy. Mostly because I was all blocked up with a head cold, but also because t/l didn't stay over like he promised. C. was driving me insane. His incessant talking, whilst normally annoying but bearable, was grating - like a drill boring into my head. Porridge for brekkie. That was yum. Then ate the leftover pineapple fritters - and I went downhill from there. BBQ chips, mini mars bars - I was rummaging in the pantry like a hobo rifling through garbage bags.

C wanted maccas for lunch. I decided on a decaf coffee that made my nauseous, and a big mac and fries. Can't believe I used to eat them. Fries were like eating soggy warm cardboard, and the burger - well, let's just say I won't be eating there again. Obviously my head cold was causing me to make bad eating decisions. Codral don't have a cure for that one do they?

Suppose the good news is my "comfort" eating isn't so comforting any more. I'm still grumpy, still all blocked up - but now with crappy junk food as well as the head cold. Back to the drawing board.

Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Phew! Lost half a kilo.

I'm wearing pants today that are too big for me (again) when I started this I couldn't get them to fasten, and I had the best camel toe you've ever seen :) Wish I'd tried them on a bit sooner, I love these pants - would have been nice to have worn them when they actually fitted nicely.

Oh, and Happy 70th Birthday Mum. She'd kill me if she knew it was on the net for the whole world to see. Tee hee.

Wish I Hadn't Done that....

I'm a silly silly girl. Couldn't help myself and got on the scales this morning. Haven't lost anything. Damn damn damn. Now I am stressing about what I have done wrong this week, what I have to do to improve next week etc etc etc. aaaargh! It's my own fault. I got carried away with myself and these days off - began to think I was invincible.

It's my mums 70th birthday tomorrow and I was going to treat us all to Chinese (she doesn't want a big fuss as my BIL is not well) - I will have to be good now though. grrrr.

Saw something interesting a few days ago while checking out nutritional values for a friend of mine. I went on http://www.food.com.au - great aussie site for seeing what you are REALLY eating. I started checking the weightwatchers items out - just to see how much "better" they were for you. Got a bit of a shock...

Bear in mind that the TF programme is VLCD (very low calorie diet) and well as low carb.

Weight Watchers Steamed Pudding, Sticky Date, frozen
per pudding (80g)
Calories - 360 cals, Kilojoules - 1504 kJ, Total Fats - 6.6 g
Sugars - 26.9 g, Carbohydrates - 73.6 g Cholesterol -
Protein - 5.8 g, Sodium - 528 mg Fibre - 2.7 g

Sara Lee Puddings, Sticky Date, frozen
per serving, 1/6 pudding (79g)
Calories - 266 cals, Kilojoules - 1,112 kJ Total Fats - 10.0 g
Sugars - 29.1 g, Carbohydrates - 40.7 g Cholesterol -
Protein - 2.3 g Sodium - 222 mg Fibre -

This gives me the irrates. Most people (like myself) would automatically assume that being "weightwatchers" it would be better for you that a "normal" pudding. But for (roughly) the same amount you are actually getting 100 extra calories and almost DOUBLE the carbs! Just goes to show that you cannot rely on marketing and branding alone.

My message - ALWAYS CHECK LABELS people. Don't be fooled into thinking it is better for you just because it is marketed towards people trying to lose weight.

Just a Little bit Naughty.....

again!

T/L came over after all and stayed so we had awesome pasta and pizza. Intention on Sunday was to go Krispy Kreme hunting as well, but I flatly refuse to queue for donuts! People have gone insane. Ok, it's the first 1 in Victoria, - BUT THEY ARE DONUTS! They are not made of gold, they are not designed by Armani and they don't feature an exclusive picture of semi-naked celebrities (mores the pity) so why spend an hour queuing up for them? Are they REALLY that nice???

Saturday I went to Salvos hunting for a bargain pair of jeans as my current ones are starting to fall down. I tried on a pair of size 14 Mossimos. I know, I know I guess I was a bit too adventurous. The good thing was that I did manage to get into them AND fasten them up. The bad thing was that I had a spare tyre that Mitchelin would have been proud to sell to 4X4 owners. Back to the drawing board. Denim is soooo unforgiving.

Back to being good as gold today. Slept in so didn't test the scales. Kinda glad :) That half packet of jaffa cakes I ate would show up and I'm not ready to face that.

Might as well face it......

I'm addicted to blog! Take last night for example. I should have been updating my website. I should have been updating my e-bay store, or creating my new online store. What was I really doing? Checked out Blog sites and Memes, trying to decide how to make my blog more interesting, how to attract traffic etc. Shame on all you blogsters out there - you're making addicts of us all!



Weighed in this morning - not bad for 4 days eh?! Might even try and be good this weekend after all. T/l sick, so may not turn up. Didn't do my usual routine either. Forgot it was weigh in day and had a shower first - so it might just have been even less (what? I'm NOT obsessing!!!)

Got wedding cake in the post today from Fi Fi, all the way over in the UK. Had a sliver for brekkie with my shake. Bit dry but suppose you can expect that what with the wedding being a month ago and it being subject to cabin pressure and postal service smelly bags and damp transit vans. Can't really be too much of a food critic all things considered. Got a mild stomach ache now - you don't think it's related do you?

Luscious!

I love that word. Rolls off the tongue just beautifully doesn't it?

I feel great. I have already beaten last weeks visits to the gym, so I can successfully mark that as an improvement.

Will probably be naughty again this weekend, as expecting T/L over. Hence my decision to change my weigh days to Friday. (almost as big a decision as marriage! - hmmmm) That way the 4 days I have been good will not be in vain. Then if I have been bad I have 5 whole days to work my sorry butt off so that it doesn't show in the scales. Jeez I'm so clever I amaze myself! (yeah I know I'm sarcastic)

Oh, and C has taken a liking to all my sugar free lollies, especially my Ricci Lite and Lucious Fabulous Fruits - is there nothing sacred? Grrrrr.

Gonna start posting up links to other blogs I have come across on my way, and stuff I find cool, funny or just down right sad and pathetic.... that way this might be worth reading once in a while.

Weakness? What weakness?

Well well well. Defo back on track. That week off had really shaken my willpower - was very tempted to bend the rules again at the weekend. Lots of emotional stress didn't help, but luckily my fear of non-ketosis is even strong than the carb demons.

I am thinking however of changing my weigh in day from Monday to Friday. That way if for some reason I do succumb to evil then I have a good 5-6 days to work it off again. Hmmmm decision decisions.

My boy is still helping me keep on track too - though I wish he would stop telling all the customers in the supermarket what I can and can't have because of my diet! It seems to make them look at me differently - as a fat person rather than just a stranger at the checkout. Suppose it's like when someone comments on the size of your nose - everyone else has ackowledged it but not focussed on it until it's been made public.

We Shall Overcome!

Continued from yesterday......
Monday morning came. It was a bank holiday so I'd slept in (well as much as a 6 yr old will let me anyway) hit the scales. put on 1.2 kg. Destraught, Mortified. Ashamed. Only had myself to blame.

Back on the straight and narrow. Being a good girl again. Had a yummy tea of pork loin with apple "sauce" made from my fruit allowance and fake sugar. Was yummo!

Tuesday morning I'm back at work after a week off. Decided to check the scales just to make sure I was now going back in the right direction..
Are my scales broken or something? Switched the light on and checked again. Yup that's right. It says I am back down to 74.4. How the F**k can I lose 1.2 kilo in 1 day! Am I complaining? Hell no!

I checked again this morning - just to make absolutely sure... down to 74 even - so I am heading in the right direction.

I'm glad my body has let me off lightly for my week of sin and debauchery, and it's also made me feel a lot less guilty for my cheats. hey I'm human, sometimes I gotta allow myself to indulge. Obviously not to the extreme I did last week (I'd like to be able to hold my head a bit higher thank you!) but at least I don't have to feel contantly deprived. Makes this whole battle a little easier to bear.

Roll on official weight day Monday! Show me whatchya got!

The Demon wins - but not for Long.....

I have been neglecting my blog. Mostly because I have been back to my old habits and was too ashamed to face the harsh reality.
I was supposed to have a day off - it turned in to a week - well maybe more like 9 days!!!!!
Had friends stay over Saturday night. Put dips out for everyone and although I was very good at dinner and resisted the potatos and the nibblies I put out, I did succumb to the dips and a bit of cheese. The Gin didn't help either, although again I didn't go overboard.
The Sunday was also a bit naughty... but nice :) Mostly little things like bacon and eggs for brekkie as well as steak and veggies for lunch - not huge crimes but still misdemeanors.
It was a pretty slow decent via Monday and Tuesday - bit of Mars Bar slice here, a KFC twister there... hmmmm!
It was Wednesday when it really hit the fan. T/l over and I had promised him a diet free day - and BOY was I gonna make the most of it. Porridge for brekkie with heaps of golden syrup. We went Italian for lunch - pasta and pizza - I was in heaven!
After that it's all a blur - half a box of pringles, followed by the rest of the dip (I had veggies with it I tells ya!) more porridge, potato cakes, peanut butter on toast, hot cross bun (I had them in the freezer cause I was DAMNED if I was gonna miss out completely this year!), more porridge, Bacon Double Cheese Burgers, Onion Rings, Spaghetti Bolognese (with extra parmesan), more porridge whoah there!
By Saturday T/L was back again, so another round of pizza and pasta (this time take away - with pasta servings meant for 2 people) more mars bar slice & porridge....
Of course why stop there - why not have the leftovers on Sunday - followed by the rest of the pringles, followed by half a box of mini snickers bars, followed by rest of the cheese and crackers.
By Sunday evening I was feeling thoroughly and totally ashamed of myself.
to be continued.........

10k gone!

Wow! I'm halfway there! Was the news I really needed to stay on track.

I did endulge slightly on Monday, but not as bad as I could have been. We had BBQ chicken for lunch and I stole one or 4 of T/ls chips (yummy) and had some coleslaw. Then about 4pm when he left I had a handful of Doritos (double yummy), then decided that if I was gonna mess around like this I might as well make sure I knocked myself out of Ketosis. I knew I still had 3/4 tin of that yummy cream in the fridge, and I went to the supermarket and bought a couple of individual apple pies (Triple yummy). Warmed them up and me and C sat there and had our dessert watching Big Brother. C. asks me if that means I'm gonna be fat again. Jeez if anything gonna put you back on that wagon then my son will. Thinking of hiring him out as a personal life coach :)

So next day I was back on track, and have been good ever since. I hit the treadmill twice this week, even did a bit of running (anything to defrost my toes - office is freezing) and I did the gardening at the weekend - shifting 2 cubic metres of soil, 1 bucket at a time!

My assumption is that my body hit starvation mode which slowed my weight loss, and the day off was the kick start it needed. I'm going to ensure I have a regular day off to treat myself and keep me motivated and my metabolism ticking over.

Oh, and I bought my first pair of size 14 pants last week. Haven't been that size in 11 years! Awesome feeling.

Temptation

Another 0.9 gone. My body is making me work for it. Getting very tempting now. Indulged in 1 bbq pringle, and licked the flavour off one of C's Doritos. Also treated myself to a bit of reduced fat cream in my chicken and mushroom supreme. Low carbs and I only had a little bit - but felt REALLY naughty.
Biggest dilemma now. T/l taking me for lunch today. Been reading on TF website that a few people have conciously had a carb meal once every so often so they don't feel deprived. Think that might be a good idea. Figured if I had it today that gives me a whole week before weigh in to get it off again. Will knock me out of ketosis, but then I'll get straight back into it, and it might just be the jolt that my body needs. Then again - this might just be an excuse for me to slack off. Once I jump off the wagon will it be hard to get back on? If I didn't lose next week because of my lack of willpower I will be very disappointed. Decisions Decisions!

Where did that Hill come from?

It's getting harder. I'm bored of food. Copied a heap of recipes from TF website in hope of trying to reclaim by tastebuds. It's true I do not have much imagination (or skill) when it comes to cooking. Any fab tasting (don't lie to me) low carb low fat recipes please let me know. (who am I kidding - no-one reads this anyway!)

Hit the treadmill twice this week so far but think I am having a day off today. Food shopping instead. Nothing much planned for the weekend, so looks like another hard one trying to fend off the munchies and the sofa sores.

Mens Pants

Why am I not happy with the result? I have lost haven't I? I'm going in the right direction. I should feel pleased with myself. I'm losing my will power to avoid temptation..... the light at the end of the tunnel still seems so far away.

trying to find reasons why my losses aren't as great anymore. Is it because I'm exercising and putting on muscle? Is it because I'm not exercising enough? Is it because I missed a couple of shakes this week because I simply wasn't hungry? Am I doing something wrong?

Ah! well whatever it is - mustn't give up. If only for the bitchy reason that my "friend" is on this plan too and I want to be more successful that her and show her how it's REALLy done. She's still having leaded coffee, and she's eating her fruit everyday which I'm not, and she still says she is hungry. She is a very competitive person, and she's always trying to put me down. It would be nice to be on a higher plane for a change.

I know that sounds nasty - that's why I put it on here - no-one will see it. Have to vent sometimes tho don't ya!

Been craving really weird things. Most people crave choccie or bread or chips. Too normal for me. I'm craving porridge and meat pies. and I'd kill for a bit of Yorkshire Pudding and sage and onion stuffing with my roast. grrrr.

The loss is showing on my clothes though. T/L couldn't get over how good I look. Said my suit looks like mens pants that are too baggy for me. They used to be tight. Wish I could afford to buy ones that fit. Any donations gratefully received... that's donations of ladies suit trousers, not mens pants :)

It's Official - I'm not LARGE anymore :)

Went to the factory outlets today to buy this top I wanted. Automatically look for "large" Lo and behold.... not a single one in site (they always go first leaving you with thousands of XXS to look through dismally - when are the retail shops gonna realise that the larger woman grossly outnumbers the skinny ones!)

There was a Medium in the colour I wanted. It's on sale. Hmmmmm I wonder..... Head to the changing room and lo and behold.... perfect fit! Whoo Hoo!!!!! I can officially call myself a medium :) :) :)

Next I have to pluck up courage to try my bottom half (which has always been bigger) My suit pants are hanging off me now... but I am reluctant to try the next size down in case they don't fit and I make myself miserable with self pity. Maybe next week.....

I must have a huge bladder!

Lazing in bed, trying to work out how many more seconds I can spare before being officially "late" for work, when I remembered it was weigh in day. Hoped on the scales - same as last week. shock horror!

Hang on a minute - I've changed the routine. Loo first, then weigh in. Back on scales. Lost 0.7kg. My bladder holds over 1/2 kilo of wee!!!!!!! I never thought I would be so happy about that revelation :)

I was a leetle bit naughty over the weekend I guess. What with the crappy chinese on Saturday night and the peppercorn sauce on my steak yesterday, and nibbling at my sisters caesar salad (with parmesan shavings). Hmmm.

Guess that I should take it as a sign - gotta get stuck into the exercise properly.

Hey - a loss is a loss is a loss. I'm happy!

Happy Birthday To Me!

I always get really really excited about birthdays. I'm 31 now but for some reason still expect them to be like when I was 6! Have to remind myself they are not supposed to be exciting anymore. It's just another day in paradise.

Mum spoiled my yesterday. She took me shopping for some sexy brown boots, and I ended up also getting a gorgeous blue knitted top from Portmans, and a mixer :)

Last night TL came over, he was later than expected and hadn't text me to tell me he was on his way, so I was stressing as usual when he got here, and I spoiled it by blubbering again. All week he's been promising me he'd spoil me, then he turns up with only $20 to buy takeout and falls asleep watching the footy. I am truly blessed!

He was really sweet though and I'm not really complaining, just thought it was funny. Despite being absolutely exhausted he did manage to hang around until after 12 so he could officially say Happy Birthday to me in person. He's already rang me this morning, says he feels like he's been headbutted by a bus. I've probably given him my illness. See... Birthdays are for giving as well as receiving.

The chinese we had last night was a big disappointment. I treated myself with crispy duck and got beef and mushroom to balance it. The beef had far too much ginger in it for my liking and the duck does not taste the same without the plum sauce. :( I went on the treadmill this morning for an hour and did about 5ks to try and balance out anything I had bad last night and anything I may have today which I shouldn't. Hope it's enough cause it's weigh in tomorrow! Gave myself blisters so now I can't wear my new boots. grrrr!

Let them eat cake...

It's my birthday on Sunday. Just brought cakes in for everyone - of course I can't have them. They looked soooooooooooooooooo yummy! The muffins were warm and moist, succulent berrys and gooey choc chips exposed for all to see. Rich and dense hedgehog and coconut slice. What have I got to look forward to? A banana shake! Whoo hoo!. I must be a masochist - why else would I torture myself with a plate full of decadent evil only inches from my nose.

I went to the docs last night - had to go for the dreaded intrusion (pap) and had a list of few other minor complaints. Thought I might as well get my monies worth. Back fired though. Happy Birthday... here's some anti-biotics. grrr. Good job I wasn't intending on drinking anyway!

Did decide to treat myself from spit roast lamb from the fish and chip shop next door to the chemist. It is divine!!!!!!!! Having it today for lunch with some slow roast veggies I did last night. Really looking forward to that. Who needs cake eh?

Phew!

A huge thank you to Lil Miss Piggy for helping me change my colours. I lurve it! She has been sooo nice and helpful and I have been a complete pain cause I don't know much about HTML. doh!

Actually felt hungry before lunch today. First time since I started the diet! Had an apple and headed to the gym. I had promised myself a regular trip to the gym, and failed yesterday so didn't want to make 2 excuses in a row.

Had a tiff with TL. Misunderstanding and we sorted it out. Think this is my first REAL adult relationship. Previously I would just sulk and pout. Talking about it and resolving it is much more rewarding! :)

He's taking me out for my birthday on Saturday and already stressing about what I am going to eat at the restaurant. Why does everyone else worry about it? I don't!

Having an early night tonight. C woke up in the night, and spent 2 restless hours in my bed, before telling me he couldn't sleep on an empty stomach. Sent him to his own bed with some tiny teddies!

I love this programme. No real effort and great results! Didn't think I would have lost anything this week. Keep waiting for the plateau.... but I hope it never happens!

Had the dreaded monthlys last week, had a sore throat and cold (can't call it flu as I have had the jab) and dosed myself up to the eyeballs with "drugs" (mostly herbal) which resulted in severe "blockage"....

Dreaded the scales this morning - felt like I swallowed a brick - thought it was bound to show. I had to switch the light on as I didn't believe my eyes. Then I got off the scales and had another go just to make sure! whoo hoo hoooooo!

Couldn't wait to tell anyone who is interested. Luckily my TL rings at 7am so he gets the good news first. He's very dubious about this diet as "I don't eat much" (he's from Italian background.... therefore if you don't eat 6 bowls of pasta a day you are not eating properly)

There's only one thing that annoys me. That is that people think they have to tip toe around me because I'm "on a diet" - i.e they can't invite me out for meals or have to cook something that I can eat. I don't want to feel like I'm being a nuisance, or spoiling their fun, or that I'm missing out on something. That's their view not mine. My mum wanted to take me for lunch on my birthday next week, but mentioned we would have to pick carefully where we go. Had to explain that it doesn't matter where we go - the point is I can work my diet into anywhere I go. Even Pizza restaurants do salad or steaks - it's not that difficult. Why don't other people see that?

I've finally worked out how to post up the links. Please let me know if any don't work properly. I'll work this stuff out eventually.... but one step at a time eh???

In The Beginning.......

Always been interested in this sorta stuff but never thought I would have anything particularly interesting to say. I remember my diary when I was at school.... "Got up, went to school, double English yuck! went home. Had tea. Watched TV. Went to Bed.

Jeez, makes me yawn just thinking about it!

Still, I've joined the Tony Ferguson Weight Loss Program, and got me some great "virtual friends" and they've given me the inspiration to try this. Gonna do it mostly for my benefit - they say writing it down clears the mind and soul and makes you feel better. Here I am to put the theory to the test. If I can interest and inspire people on the way so much the better.

Story so far... single mother, living with gorgeous 6 year old son, C. Have mum close by helping me incessantly. Don't know what I would do without her. Work full time doing Insurance (yawn) and Transport (more yawn) for an air con co. Also trying to run a jewellery business. Making and selling my own creations and doing a few jewellery classes here and there. So that's me in a nutshell.

Comments and feedback appreciated ;)