From the Universe

Remember you once told me, that if ever all of the circumstances in your life were aligned just so, your soon-to-be friends were in all the right places at all the right times, and the financial markets, social climate, and global energies had all reached optimal points... you'd want to be gently nudged as a subtle sign that it was time to start doing new things, saying new things, and visualizing so that you might catch these gargantuan waves of change and surf to dazzling new heights?
TODAY'S THE DAY!!
Hang ten,
The Universe

To Hell with the Environment

I know it's only April, and I have been REALLY good so far in being green and saving water and energy etc etc, but stuff the Expense and Be damned my Carbon Footprint.... IT'S COLD so I'm putting the heating on!

Global Warming REALLY needs to be re-named. Brrrrrrrr.

Hurry up Spring!

Oh my God the Pressure!

If anyone can tell me where I got the title from then I'll give them a prize... I think it's a film but I'm not sure...

Anyways I know I haven't been here much this week, so figured I owed my reader(s) an explanation.

Basically I'm flat chat with my day job, and my business and trying to balance every fink else as well, and to top it off I'm gonna try and build a house (cause I need more stress in my life of course)

I have therefore decided that my regular stints will have to become an ad-hoc post. Trying to think of quirky things on Tuesday and rants on Wednesday is just too much pressure, and if it's forced then it's not as entertaining (whatdoyamean it wasn't to start with???).

We'll still have Room 101 and quirky stuff, just may not always be on the right days, and I may miss a week altogether. It'll keep you on your toes and might keep you looking me up more often to see me (yeah right!)

Let the games begin!

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

Questioning :: Brain Teasers
Immunity :: Injections
Online dating :: not worth the hassle
Calcium :: Calci-yummy!
Dressing :: Gown
Bucket :: Seat
Stain :: Bleach (!?)
Advanced :: Technical
Dramatic :: Play
Self-medication :: Drug abuse

The Lair of the Blue Happy Alien Bunny

Part IV, by John Hulme

"SORRY ABOUT THE BUNNY-FOOT GUARD THINGIES," said the big blue floating space bunny. "I REALLY SHOULD GET MY ALARM SYSTEM UPDATED... IT PLAYS MERRY HELL WITH MY JOINTS, HAVING TO SPLIT MYSELF INTO PIECES EVERY TIME I GET UNWELCOME VISITORS!"

"But that's just the point!" Tracy yelled back. "I'm not unwelcome! I"m supposed to be here! I've felt like a Blue Happy Bunny all my life - a BHB, just like it says on your stupid elevator door downstairs!"

"YEAH, I KNOW," said the big blue bunnyrabbit, laughing heartily in the way that only a Truly Happy Blue Bunny could laugh. "THE THING IS, I TRY TO KEEP MOST PEOPLE AWAY BECAUSE, TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, THEY JUST DON'T GET IT! GIVE THEM HALF A CHANCE AND THEY'LL SCORE POINTS OFF PEOPLE, THEY'LL BOOST THEMSELVES AT OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPENSE, THEY'LL SNEER...

"BUT YOU, TRACY... OH, WOW...

"YOU GIVE... YOU GIVE... OH, THE HECK WITH THIS..."

And suddenly, to the evident surprise of all the watching stars and planets, the booming blue rabbit voice softened to what was clearly a very, very uncharacteristic whisper.

"The thing is," continued the Blue Happy Bunny, its delicate voice echoing into little tufts of misty heartbreak across this strange tower-top Universe, "the world is full of people who have lost faith, who have lost bits of their souls... who don't remember how long and fluffy their ears are, because they have spent so long sharpening their claws...

"And then there are people like you... people who will decide to make friends in the blink of an eye... people who instinctively seem to know when, and what, and how much to give of themselves, without having to stop and weigh the prices up beforehand...

"If THAT isn't a Blue Happy Bunny, then I sure as hell don't know what is!"

Peanut stared aghast at the big blue alien rabbit.

"WHAT?" it snapped. "SO YOU HEARD A BUNNYRABBIT SAY 'HELL'... SO WHAT? I DO BELIEVE YOUR MOTHER ALREADY COVERED THIS TERRITORY IN THE ELEVATOR!"

"Worth a try," shrugged Peanut. "How often do you get the chance to embarrass a big blue cheery alien bunnyrabbit?"

~ ~ ~

And that's how Tracy the Blue Happy Bunny learned her destiny.

As for the big blue space bunny, he's gone back to his home in the unfeasibly cheerful Outer Cosmos. So if you go to that tower in Liverpool, you'll probably just find a radio station, or a revolving restaurant, depending on what mood Liverpool City Council is in at the time.

Room 101

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

I think there should be a legal requirement that bank fees be renamed "Extortion".. or better still.. ban bank fees into Room 101 forever!!!!!!

Quirky Tuesday

Things I could easily get addicted to:-

• Physiotherapy
• Burger King/Hungry Jacks Bacon Deluxe Cheeseburgers (especially with onion rings!)
• SingStar!

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

Music Mambo

Hello, mamboers. Today I think we'll talk about the piano:

1. Can you play piano? If so, when did you learn?
My mum bought a huge Yamaha keyboard when I was a kid and I self taught myself some very basic tunes. I can play "By the Rivers of Babylon" including a few chords, and I can play some basic tunes by ear.. although it usually takes me a few attempts.
2. Who is your favorite piano player in popular music?
Chris Martin from Coldplay
3. What is your favorite song featuring the piano?
I'm gonna go way off field here and say Van Halen's Jump - technically it was a synthesizer, but the concept is still the same surely (?)
4. Piano in rock music - yay or nay?
Hell yeah, why not? Gimme a good Crocodile Rock style piano riff any day!

Thanks for mamboing!

Cool Things I found This Week

I have been posting stuff in Del.icio.us for ages and then not putting them in here like I am supposed to.... time to catch up a bit.

Here's some cool blogs I have found....

Killer Rants, with Liz

Hey, you know me, love a good Rant

Olga the Travelling Bra

A couple of cups that do so much!

Mayren Abashed

Recommended by a friend, and who am I to argue ;)

View from the Cloud

My kind of humour!

and lastly, check this out. How amazing are these creations!

The Lair of the Blue Happy Alien Bunny

Part III, by John Hulme

As the lift sped up into the dark heart of the tower,the trap door in the ceiling burst open and a couple of big blue floppy things flopped menacingly over the two intruders.

"Ha!" they cried, slapping poor Peanut and Tracy around the elevator with whiplike whacks of their long, furry bodies. "Nothing in the known Universe can defeat the strange, yet awesome agility of the sacred rabbit ears!"

"STOP!" screamed Tracy, suddenly more than a little miffed at her reception. "DO I LOOK LIKE I NEED THIS SHIT IN MY LIFE?"

Peanut stared at her, more than a little aghast.

"Oh, sure, like I don't really know you know that word," she sighed. "Give you five minutes with any group of kids and you probably know more words than I do! So what? It's not about what words you know..."

"IT'S ABOUT HOW YOU USE THEM!" boomed a big, echoing voice as the elevator doors swung open. Out beyond the elevator, the world as they had previously recognised it appeared to have vanished, leaving a far stranger Universe hanging in its place. All around them, from every conceivable angle, a wild assortment of multicoloured planets appeared to be racing each other across open space like reckless, glowing marbles. Bright stars glowered down from the misty distance, blinding Peanut and Tracy in their fierce glare.

Gradually, as the swirl of astral colours began to steady itself, and the weird ballet of astral wotsits came into focus, they could make out the squadron of bright blue fluffy asteroids rolling down through this weird miniature Cosmos towards them.

Two of these asteroids were shaped like rabbit's feet, only without the black caps this time, two like big, floppy bunny ears, two like massive eyes (the kind of eyes you might see frozen in a car's headlights, or peeking out from the bushes on a lazy country walk).

"They're not asteroids," noted Peanut, with his usual perception. "They're bunny-roids."

And as they watched, the weird assortment of flying bunny bits began to merge, stitching themselves together across the cosmic mists like some floating knitting pattern.

From the Universe

Don't be afraid. You needn't slay the beast nor scale the entire mountain. That's not how it's done. You only need to move through today. Think of the distance you've already covered. Focus on your strengths. Let each new step remind you of your freedom. Let every breath you take remind you of your power. Seek out friends and guides; they're anxious to help. You're not alone. You're understood. This road has been walked before.

Dance life's dance, just a few steps at a time, and in the wink of an eye you will wonder to yourself, "What beast, what mountain? Was I having a dream?"

Love you,
The Universe

Room 101

Paper Cuts

'cause they hurt like hell. Second only to childbirth (guys you'll just have to take my word for it)

Worse is when I get them on my lip cause I licked the envelope! You'd think in the world of Laser Beams and the World Wide Web they would be able to invent paper than has non abrasive edges!

Oh look, they have!

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Quirky Tuesday

My favourite Cheeses

(apologies, but I am having a quirky mental block, and a cheese advert just came on)

Wensleydale

Haven't seen it anywhere over here, so I haven't had it in years, but I used to love it's creamy crumbly texture.

Swiss

If I ever get offered a choice in a sandwich shop I always opt for swiss. Much more flavour!

Bush Pepper

Great bite to it. Buy it from Aldi. Chunks of cracked pepper in a rich vintage cheddar. Yum!

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

Nutritious :: Green Leafy Vegatables
Graduate :: Dustin Hoffman (?)
Tonight! :: Sleep
Located :: Narre Warren
Weapon :: of Choice
Jumper :: Cool Movie
Collectibles :: Pocket Dragons
Dennis :: The Menace
Hostile :: Pantera
Vivid :: Colours

Memoir Tag

I got tagged!

The rules are:-

1. Write your own six word memoir.

2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.

3. Link to the person who tagged you in your post.

4. Tag five more blogs with links.

I did a bit of background work:-

The story goes that Hemingway once bet $10 that he could sum up his life in six words. He summed it all up with For Sale: Baby shoes; never worn.

Ya see, this is what happens when I make friends with bloggers who are far more literate than I will ever be. 6 words? Sum up my whole life in only 6 words? There are millions and millions of words in the English language, and you want me to pick only 6? (I have no doubt this is what the guy who lost the best was thinking)

Well, I'm gonna cheat. I have 12, or rather a choice of 2:-

I'd like it to be

Small Indent on the Big Picture

but more realistic is

Perfection is so hard to Achieve

Oh, and I haven't got 5 bloggers I wanna tag, so LifeSinger, Jenny Boo and ItisI, consider yourselves tagged. And thanks to John for passing it on. Yours is much more poetic and effortless than mine.

Oh so many questions!

Check this out!

where do I begin with my questions! :-

1. It says that "he" had "his" breasts removed but "his" reproductive organs were not removed. How can "he" therefore be declared a "man" if she doesn't have male organs?
2. Did his wife know he was born a woman when she married him?
3. Can they they be classed as married if it is not consummated?
4. Are they gonna tell their kid about this?
5. If he has female sex organs.. does that make his wife a lesbian?
6. Is this an April Fools Joke or what!?


Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

The Lair of the Blue Happy Alien Bunny

Part II, by John Hulme


The fluffy security foot-guard-thingy flexed its talons and growled at them in what seemed like a particularly unfriendly manner for such an otherwise friendly-looking paw.

"Watch it, Peanut!" gasped Tracy, "those claws look awful sharp!"

Just as she had finished saying this, another rabbit's paw guard thingy bounced onto the ground behind them, cracking the paving with its razor-bladed talons.

OK, so Peanut might well started out unconvinced by the whole Blue Happy Bunny from outer space idea, but even he had to admit that things were beginning to look very suspicious indeed. Something strange was afoot in this tower - and it wasn't just the rabbit's feet (though, of course, technically speaking, each of those was indeed a foot). Besides, no oversized rabbit's feet were going to mess with HIS mum!

He launched a flying kick at the foot-guard-thingy by the door, neatly cracking open one of its talons.

"Oww! Now that's just not... ooowwww!! No, no... oooowww!" whined the stricken guard.

Instantly, the other guard launched itself into the air, its talons neatly splayed out in a kind of killer rake formation, so that anything in its path would instantly be sliced to ribbons.

Peanut had already hit the button on the security door, however, and was pulling his mother into the tower elevator.

"Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiii..." The second foot-guard-thingy's cry was cut short by the elevator doors slamming shut in its path, followed by a very ugly-sounding THUNK!

"What did he say?" asked Peanut.

"Ohshi," replied Tracy. "It's rabbit-speak for 'Whoops, I missed'."

"Yeah, right," replied Peanut, quietly marvelling to himself at the way mothers always seemed to underestimate quite how many dodgy words their kids actually knew.
Or maybe they don't, he suddenly thought to himself, surprising himself with his own insight. Maybe they just need to believe something better is round the corner.

Room 101

People who record concerts on their mobile phones....

It's insane to me! Why spend $100 on a ticket to see a band live, then watch the whole thing through a tiny screen on your phone? Might as well stay at home and watch it on TV! You can't appreciate the feeling of live music by watching it on a phone, so why bother? If your mates had wanted to see it, they'd have bought a ticket!

Quirky Tuesday

My favourite Vampires:-

1. The Vampire Armand

I love all of Anne Rice's Vampire chronicles. They have a wonderful, poetic flow about them, and really make you feel like you are there. I fell in love with Armand in his book.

2. Dracula in Bram Stokers Dracula

Not so much in his "old" form, but when he is strolling the streets of London and meets the aquaintence of the delectible Mina, he is simply DIVINE. A wonderful adaptation by Gary Oldman. and when he says.. " I... love you too much to condemn you. " well I almost swoon!

3. Selene in Underworld

Awesome sexy vampire in tight leather... you need any more reason???? I like to think if I turned vampire I would look like her.

Monday Music Mambo

Greetings to all! April Fool's Day is coming up, and I need a Mambo topic. So . . .Nominate your Five Fools of Music (artists, producers, industry people, etc.)Thanks for mamboing!

Ok, well I took a Scientific approach to this challenge.. The definition of Fool in the Dictionary is:-

–noun
1. a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense.
2. a professional jester, formerly kept by a person of royal or noble rank for amusement: the court fool.
3. a person who has been tricked or deceived into appearing or acting silly or stupid: to make a fool of someone.
4. an ardent enthusiast who cannot resist an opportunity to indulge an enthusiasm (usually prec. by a present participle): He's just a dancing fool.
5. a weak-minded or idiotic person.

So I thought I would nominate 1 person for each of the above definitions:-

1. - Obviously now knowing them personally it would be hard to judge, but I guess from all the negative press it would seem that Amy Winehouse lacks judgement or sense.
2. - A professional Jester, or to me a True Entertainer, would have to be Freddy Mercury. The outfits alone prove that!
3. - I reckon the Spice Girls were conned. The promise of big things with a serious singing career must have been difficult when their first single had the words "zig -a-zig ah!"
4. - An ardent Enthusiast - Robbie Williams. He can't resist the attention, sometimes to his detriment.
5. - Lee Harding - had a promising career ahead of him, but he blew all his credibility by releasing the crappy first single "Wasabi"

Cool Things I found This Week

If anyone wants to buy me a present (hey, there's no harm in asking) then I want these. My old friend Happy Bunny has turned up again and he's blue! Might have to look at infringement rights on this, SURELY I must have come up with BHB first! These are kinda cool too!

Also gotta find out how I get me one of these!

This guy is one of my Bartercard buddies. He has great tips on Health and Fitness... and who knows.. I may even pay a little attention to him one day! My favourite of his one-liners is "Get Fit and Stop Eating Sh*T" To the point huh!?

Things I Learned This Week

• It never goes away
• Thoughts become Things
• Even strangers can help you through the darkness

The Lair of the Blue Happy Alien Bunny

This story is written by my new friend John Hulme - the brightest start in the constellation. He wrote this especially for me, and I am deeply touched and honoured. I couldn't wait to share it with my other friend(s). I'm gonna post it in chunks... to keep you in suspenders!

Liverpool, like any city, was a busy place, full of people rushing here and there (and usually back here again, before nipping over to grab something they'd forgotten over there). So there were quite a few people mulling around at the time, wondering what Peanut was looking at. But of course, Peanut didn't care. All he cared about was that the rumours were true - there really was a flying saucer perched in the middle of the city.

"OK, Mum," he said, "so you were right about theflying saucer. But I still don't believe there's a big blue alien rabbit in there - let alone an annoyingly cheerful one!


"Fair enough, thought Tracy. I probably wouldn't believe it either. But she knew she had to find out. She knew she had been destined to become the Blue Happy Bunny for a reason, and something told her the reason was up in that tower.


So they walked over to the little entrance door which, as they quickly realised, was clearly - and somewhat ominously - marked:

BHB PERSONNEL ONLY! KEEP OUT OR WE SORT YOU OUT!

"Hmm," thought Tracy. "B...H...B... that just CAN'T be a coincidence, can it? There must be a blue happy bunny up there!"


As they approached the doorway, Tracy and Peanut were suddenly confronted with a somewhat unexpected apparition. Even in Liverpool, where strange and unusual things were frequently known to have rolled free from the cargo holds of lost ships, encountering a security guard shaped like a giant rabbit's foot would probably be considered "a bit of a shock" - to say the least. Even more so, when the rabbit's foot in question happens to be blue (and we're not talking a kind of vague greyish-blue here, either - we're talking seriously cobalt-y almost turquoise-y blue... so blue, in fact, that bits of green had actually hopped in to get in on the excitement).


Had it not been for the shiny black cap with the word "SECURITY" clearly embossed on it, they would probably not even have known it was a security guard. But, of course, everybody believes what they read on shiny black caps, no matter what city they come from -that's just a natural law of the Universe.

"Can we come in?" asked Tracy. "I kinda think we might be expected."

Room 101

Kate Bush

The annoying pout, those fake innocent eyes, the masses of frizz... but most of all.....

That banshee screech she spews forth... aaaarrrggggh! Her "voice" is like nails on a chalk-board to me. Listening to her "music" is like chewing aluminium foil. Can't stand the woman!!!

If I hear one of her "songs" on the radio I have to turn it off. If she is "played" at a social gathering I have to leave. I was forced to leave a lovely party for 6 minutes as a fellow attendee was a "fan". Even in the garden waiting for the torture to end with my hands over my ears I could hear her wailing.

I believe I know what hell sounds like :- "Wuthering Heights" on Repeat.

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Quirky Tuesday

The good thing about my "day" job as a Fleet Manager is that it is always varied....

I got one of the tech's in Northern Territory a brand spanking new 4x4 Hilux with long range tanks, custom body, heavy duty suspension, all the latest safety gear, snorkel, gps etc... He's had it 4 weeks before this happened :-

yep, that's our truck floating in the sea! Maybe they should put in the manual that snorkels don't work when they are FULLY SUBMERGED!!

Here's what his boss told me:-

a couple of technicians were attempting to launch Jack's boat off a boat ramp in Darwin, whilst attempting to turn the vehicle the new Toyota slipped off the concrete ramp and into the mud and subsequently became bogged and the vehicle could not be driven out via 4WD
Over a few hours and several broken tow straps the vehicle became submerged with the rising of the tide, eventually the vehicle was removed via a tow truck and is presently sitting in a holding yard awaiting further instructions.

what the claim form says:-

vehicle got stuck in beach. Tide came in and swamped the vehicle whilst launching boat. Tow truck firm phoned straight away but could not respond until 2 hours had passed.

Fire station attempted to help but vehicle was too far gone. Tow truck firm finally arrived. The cab of the vehicle allowed it to float and they were able to recover the vehicle.

Gonna get the buggers a Honda Scooter next time... let's see them try and tow a boat with that! ;)

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

Unconscious Mutterings

I say ... and you think ... ?

Money :: can't buy happiness
Unhappy :: Feelings
Joking :: Laughing
Chipmunk :: Alvin and the...
Date :: Dinner and Movie
Slideshow :: Jewellery Photos
Chicago :: Hope
Lifetime :: Achievements
Skid row :: Sebastian Bach
Edward :: Scissorhands, Norton.

Hello Hello !!

Sorry I have been away. T/L and I having a tough time at moment, and very very busy with work AND the business... something had to give for a while...

I might be a bit hit and miss over the next few weeks so bear with me.

And thanks heaps to Jennie Boo for her concern.... soooo great to know my reader(s) care about me

Lotsa hugs xxx xxx xxx xxx

oh, and if I miss a Quirky Tuesday or Room 101 feel free to post me your ideas, as I often suffer from lack of imagination.

Pointless Art

It was very hard to pick the correct title on this one....

Firstly it was to be "contemporary art" but some of that can be quite beautiful.

Then I decided it should be "modern art" but again that doesn't narrow down the offenders enough.

So, I have picked out examples of what I consider "pointless art". I have tried to focus on the one's in Melbourne that spurred the idea of this banishment, but I am not picking on my hometown, as they have beautiful works also, and there are plenty of other towns, cities and countries that have their own.

This is a typical offender. Thousands of dollars spent on a sculpture that a 5 year old could easily do for about $1o! It is supposed to be an eagle... (correct name for this piece is "Bunjil")
Named "The Vault" but known to all who hate it as "the yellow peril" Why on earth did we commission a broken metal box!

This one is called "Cow up a Tree" I definitely think the artist was laughing all the way to the bank on completion!

I could go on all day, but I'm sure you now get my point. If you are that way inclined you can see more examples of the weird, whacky and beautiful of Melbourne here, here, here and here.

oh, and I found this article very amusing.

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Quirky Tuesday

I'm not the only one who:-

1. Unzips before entering cubicle
2. is in their 30s and loves Charmed
3. has their second toe longer than their first

This Post has been Deleted By Request

Psycho Mom!

I went to C's basketball game tonight. Normally just my mum takes him but she urged me to attend seeing it was his last one.

I turned into schizo mom from hell. This little brat on the opposite team obviously decided that chasing the ball wasn't working as a tactic and instead decided to going round kicking all opposing players! This wasn't just sly digs when no-one was looking... these were obvious, malicious full frontal kicks to the shins!

Normally I wouldn't get involved... but I must have had a short circuit or something, and went on to the court when he was laying into C's ankles for the third time and shouted at the little shit.

What the hell made me go off at a little kid! On the drive home I had flashbacks to those news stories of parents beating up referees and rival players.... I can see the headlines now...

"psycho mom makes 5 year old cry at basketball match"

shudder!

Room 101

Ringtone Ads

Very very very annoying - crappy and annoying. It wouldn't be so bad if they are just one or 2 every few hours, but they seem to buy up huge blocks of cheap ad space, and consequently you get inundated with the inane ramblings time after time after time in the same show - and even recently I have seen the ad twice in the same ad break!!!

Even worse are those ones that advertise those ring tone quizes - the ones that are designed to get kids to spend thousands of dollars in sms fees trying to win the latest ipod. Pathetically easy questions to get you to spend your hard earned dough.

While I am ranting and throwing ads in the depths of 101, I'll also include those ones that encourage the lonely and desperate to text names to find their true love! What the!!

... and don't get me started on those phone chat and sex line ads!!!!!

Quirky Tuesday

Fantasy Rock Band.
If you could have the best players in your band.. who would they be???

Phil Collins on Drums
Flea on Bass (from Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Cameron Muncey on Lead Guitar (from Jet)
Scott Weiland - Lead Vocals (Stone Temple Pilots)
Chris Martin - Keyboard & Backing Vocals (Coldplay)

and their first hit? Hmmm I'll try them out with "Smooth" originally by Santana & Rob Thomas.

Manic Monday

You find that your best friend has stolen money to pay for medical treatment for a seriously ill relative. What would you do?
I was probably driving the getaway car!

What three things you regret not learning to do?

1. Play a musical instrument... I would kill to play the bass guitar now!
2. Speak Italian .. beautiful language, but much harder to learn when you are an adult.
3. Ride a motorbike... I'm going to attempt to rectify the situation but am extremely nervous now about doing so.

Things I learned this week

1. It's easy to break into my house... I forgot my keys but managed to rip the fly screens and slide open my bedroom door to climb in with ease... and NO-ONE saw anything!
2. Sometimes it's better to just say No!... I took an order for a silver pendant, when really I should have admitted to the customer and myself that I am Just not ready yet.
3. I am obsessed with food... my last 4 out of 5 blogs have had something to do with food or weight loss.

Room 101

Half Dipped Cookies

Like... what's the go?! If I wanted chocolate on my biccies I'll buy a pack of Tim Tams. By all means make it choc flavoured, put chocolate in it, but don't dip!

And why only half? You either want a choc biscuit coated in choc or you want a plain one... how many people do you know go out and ask for half a chocolate biscuit?

If you really REALLY must dip, then please please PLEASE make it REAL chocolate. That half assed baking chocolate just don't cut it with me!

Quirky Tuesday

My Cheer-up Quick Comfort Foods

1. Fish finger and potato waffle sandwiches (with tartar sauce)
2. Jacket Potato with baked beans, ham and cheese (and real butter for an added bonus)
3. Bangers and Mash, with Onion Gravy

by the way.. I'm not the only one who puts potato waffles in sandwiches. I found the proof!

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

Monday's a Bitch

Random Joy
1. Did you watch the Oscars last night? What did you think of them?
Didn't watch them, but I always hit the net to check out the frocks! My faves were Hilary Swank and Jessica Alba.
2. Have you ever called in sick to work when you weren't really sick? What did you spend the day doing instead?
Done it quite a few times actually, and I have twice as many excuses now as I can blame it on the boy being sick too. Can't actually think of anything special I did, usually spending time with T/L or catching up on chores or sleep!
3. In school did you ever have to serve detention? What for?
Don't think we had detention at my school... but I do remember getting into SERIOUS trouble for skipping school and forging my mums signature on the "sick note".
4. Have you ever had food poisoning? What did you eat that caused it?
Generally I have an iron stomach. I can't think of anything specific that I could pinpoint specifically to what I ate. If I drink too much alcohol I spew, but haven't done that for a long time either.
5. Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you ever consider getting one?
I have a tribal flower on the base of my spine, and I'd love to have another one too, but can't think of anywhere else to put it. I considered back of my neck, but think it's too visible.

Mockolate

My mum told me about lower carb lower cal chocolate and I found Cadbury Lite in the supermarket yesterday and thought I would give it a go...

It kinda reminds me of the Friends episode "the one with the list" (Ep 32 S2)

MONICA: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
MR. RASTATTER: Mockolate.
MONICA: I'm sorry?
MR. RASTATTER: Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute

MR. RASTATTER: Aren't you going to swallow that?
MONICA: Just waiting for it to stop bubbling

Can you believe I went on the Cadbury website and couldn't find the lite bar on their! Bizarro!

The large warning "Excess consumption may have a laxative effect" kind of puts you off eating the whole bar.. which I suppose can be seen as a good thing! Has a more "crumbly" consistancy than proper chocolate... but tastes OK..

Here is a fellow blogger's comments.

MR. RASTATTER: Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats.
MONICA: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
MR. RASTATTER: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
MONICA: Well, uh, I ate some.
MR. RASTATTER: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?

Room 101

The Biggest Loser

Annoys the crap out of me, but my son enjoys it and I figured it was worth letting him watch it so he gets nutrition and exercise info.

Tonights episode though has me livid! I am seriously thinking of stopping him watching it!

The show is meant to be about losing weight.. but these selfish pathetic individuals consume 1000 calories for a chance of winning immunity. Do they feel guilty? Are they ashamed of themselves for succumbing to temptation for a slim chance of staying 1 extra week? Nope! All they are worried about is that their trainers are gonna kick their ass!

It makes me angry! There are millions of people who struggle with their weight, who are constantly battling despite countless diets, exercise routines and "medically approved" drastic surgery methods. The lucky few get this amazing opportunity to learn from the best, to have 3 months dedicated time for themselves, where all they have to concentrate on is getting themselves fit and healthy, and they squander it! They're fighting for a measly guaranteed extra week in the house instead of resisting temptation, getting stuck into training hard and ensuring that if they don't get to stay any longer they can leave safe in the knowledge that their time there was well spent learning how to ensure that they never go back to being morbidly obese.

Kick them all out I say - stick them in Room 101 where they can eat chocolate eclairs, jelly beans and deep fried chicken to their hearts content and we don't have to watch their sorry fat asses!

(written by a size 16)

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Quirky Tuesday

I have reached 32 and have never.....

1. Had to vote
2. Eaten Asparagus
3. Watched a Star Wars Movie all the way through

Music Mambo

Hello everyone! Time for another mambo. Today is Thumb Appreciation Day.
Name three albums that you would give 'two thumbs up.'
I give YOU two thumbs up for mamboing!

1. Meatloaf - Bat out of Hell
2. Maroon 5 - Songs about Jane
3. Travis - The Invisible Band

News at 7 (30ish)

Good News: No red and white bear for Valentine's Day.
Bad News: Didn't get anything else either!

Bad News: Dropped my phone down the toilet
Good News: Managed to score a temporary spare from work
Really Good News: It seems to be working OK again now (although at the moment still doing occasional strange things!

In other news:
Was a day of strange sights as well today (not including the phone in the toilet)

• saw an elephant in a paddock in Baxter
• saw a rooster walking down the road in Hampton Park

101 in 1001

My 101 list is long and too intermittant here so I have moved it to here. Much easier to keep up on what's going on!

Now I will have plenty more room to put other useless crap on this blog!

Oh, and Happy Valentines's Day!!!

Room 101

Red & White Teddy Bears

Very very very very very tacky! I cringe at the sight of them... if anyone ever bought me one.. even for Valentine's Day.. I think I would beat them over the head with it!

Quirky Tuesday

Quirky Puppies

Chinese Crested - looks like it should be living in the 80's

Komondor - woah! dig those dreads man!

Shar Pei - my favourite dog breed... needs a good ironing!

Music Mambo

Let's mambo! Today is Be Electrific Day.
1. What is your favorite electrified instrument?
I just lurve a good bass - especially one you can feel... one that makes your ribs hum! :)
2. What instrument do you think should be electrified that isn't?
What about some electric tubular bells? Hmmmmmmmmm
3. Name a song that just wouldn't be the same without electricity.
Totally Addicted to Bass, by Josh Abrams

Just Wondering...

How come you don't see more dead birds lying around? Not a nice thought I know, but I think I have only ever seen 2-3 in my whole life... yet there must be millions and millions of birds dying every year.

So do they fly somewhere quiet to die quietly? Do they have "graveyards" like elephants do? What happens to their bodies when their souls fly away for the last time?

Things I Learned This Week

• The cleaner at work is male... he left the toilet seats up in the ladies
• The ratio of work done against work to do is always 1:2
• Family always want favours done as priority to anything else going on in your life.

Room 101

Normally I don't get involved in religious or political debates or conversations because I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion and more often than not these types of discussions end in someone getting offended or upset.

However I can't sit back on this one.

Westboro Baptist Church were to boycott Heath Ledger's Funeral because he played a gay man in a film. According to them he is going to hell because he advocates the right to be gay, and we shouldn't mourn him and he has offended God and has been punished for doing so.

What about all those people that WBC offend and abuse every single day with their hateful words. I can't believe that people can use religion as an excuse for such abhorrent behaviour.

Even their website name is downright evil!

Related Article

Using God to justify Sexism, Racism and anti gay crap to me goes against everything that religion stands for. What is worse is that they openly do so, and in the most disrespectful of forums and circumstances.

Ultimately I believe in "Karma" or "give as ye shall receive" so I expect the congregation of Westboro Baptist Church will be going to hell. In the meantime, Room 101 will have to do.

Rest In Peace Heath. xxx

Things, people, places, situations etc you hate/loathe/dispise/don't like very much belong in Room 101. If you decide to do the same please comment or link as appropriate as I would love to hear yours too.

Quirky Tuesday will have a different topic each week, to tell everyone about a quirk / ritual / obsession / routine about that subject. As little or as many as you like if you're playing along at home. (I sound like a game show host!). Readers can meme it on their own blogs or just comment on here. Don't forget to link!

In honour of Shrove Tuesday...... yummy pancake fillings

1. My traditional pancake day treat is golden syrup! Hmmmm!
2. Savoury Mince with Gravy... cause you can't just restrict yourself to dessert!
3. The ultimate: Chocolate Gnauche with Strawberrys, Raspberrys, Rhubarb and Choc Chip Ice Cream.

Monday Music Mambo

1. It's a well-known idea that chicken soup makes you feel better when you're sick. What artist makes you feel better when you're not feeling well?
Bright cheerful songs like Ben Lee "I refuse to go Numb" Jack Johnson "Banana Pancakes" and Old Man River "Sunshine". Or if you need an energy boost then a bit of Meatloaf or My Chemical Romance should do the trick

2. Soups can be made from very diverse ingredients that somehow work well together. Name a band, duo, or any other combination that brings diverse people together into one great muscial soup.

Cat Empire bring a nice eclectic mix together and I reckon they would be the ultimate definition of "Musical Soup"

3a. Creamy soups are popular for use in many dishes. Cream was one of the best blues rock groups of the 60s. What song do you like better - "Sunshine Of Your Love" or "White Room"? Tell us why you like that song better than the other.

Sunshine of Your Love is probably my number one song EVER!!!! It has the best guitar riff, and the build up is intense... enough to get any orchestral juices flowing!

3b. If you don't like the band Cream, tell us what soup you think your favorite musician likes to eat.

Robbie Williams would probably be a Minestrone man, I reckon Lily Allen would dig into a bit of Laksa, whereas Madonna would be more of a Chicken Noodle Chick. Jack Johnson would be a wholesome country veg kinda guy. Mika would be cream of mushroom... cause he's a fun guy (funghi geddit!) ah, this is fun I could go on all day!

Good: Worked really hard at the weekend.
Bad: Demolished Roast Chicken and heaps of chips on Saturday night.

Just Plain Wrong: My scales!
... and it's pancake day tomorrow so I am sure this week is not going to be a successful one! :(

Cool Things I found This Week

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride.

Cool gadgets and toys listed here on GizMo Diva.

Here's an article about a book that seems to mirror my thoughts exactly.

My Dilemma

Everyone please sing the title to "My Sharona"..... I do!

I have this "friend". You can tell the problem straight away as I have felt the need for the inverted commas.
I met her about 18 months ago when she temped here at work. We got on really well and kept in touch after her temp job. Regular e-mail and messenger chats, and we got together few times socially. We even had the prospective partners meet each other.
She was having trouble with her husband and would often confide in me and ask for my opinion. Just before Christmas she bought a puppy. Then boxing day she finally left the husband. She moved to her parents. She asked if I could look after her puppy. No probs! Then she started an affair with her cousin from Italy. I met him, he was great, but didn't speak English. My partner speaks Italian so we all got together. Everything great.
She decided to move to Italy with him. I was very happy for her and encouraged her to follow her heart and take the plunge. I adopted her puppy.
Once she left for Italy I had 1 or 2 emails, that was about it.
4 months later I get e-mail to say she was coming home, and asking me advice about Visas etc.
Then I got an e-mail saying she was back in OZ and asking for more advice about visas. I gave her the info and suggested we catch up soon.
The I got a text at 10:30 at night with more questions. I replied promptly.
A week or so later I got an e-mail asking for a reference for a flat. No problemo... when are we catching up?
A month later I get a e-mail with her new mobile number. Thanks heaps... when are we catching up?
I get regular junk e-mails from her, occasional news.
A month or so ago an e-mail "hey how are ya" and photo of her new puppy... hmmmmm

Ok, you get the picture (wha! picture... that's an effing landscape!) She only contacts me when she wants something.. doesn't seem interested in catching up or doing other "friend" stuff. I'm kinda feeling this is a very one sided relationship here and decided it was best to cut the ties.

The dilemma is this (finally she gets to the point!) I got an e-mail yesterday. "Hey, How are you? Did you have a nice break? How is everyone? Kind Regards,"
Do I reply??????? Do I continue this charade... confront her about her relationship... ignore her???
YOU DECIDE!
(Jeez I wish I had a phone poll!) As soon as I work out how to do a web poll I'll post it!